Monday, March 31, 2008

zechariah 9:12



It has been weeks since I've sat in front of this computer to write. I can't say exactly why. Somehow, the words just stopped coming. Life got busy, things felt lighter - somehow I didn't need to say anything. I found the response to the last post interesting, certainly broader than I'd expected. Oh, I get dramatic sometimes. Caught in a whirlwind of emotion and fervor and I find I can't really slow my own thoughts down to consider what I'm actually saying. What I'm putting out there, for whomever to read. But, looking back, I suppose that's how it should be. Unaltered and totally raw. Truthfully, nothing has changed. I think and feel just as I did that night, over a month ago. But I am quieter this evening. Something has stilled me and I'd really rather not fight it.

This video was put together by the incredibly creative and visionary team at our church here in Nashville. All I will say is that, after six months of walking here, in this place, away from my precious girl, it felt surreal to tell our story again. It felt cathartic, and healing, and also a little sad. The sadness doesn't go anywhere. It seeps into cracks away from the places we most obviously feel during our busied, frantic days, but it's there - it remains. I had thought that once we learned we'd be expecting another baby, I'd feel less of it. That the sharpness of it would wear off. And now, as I sit in my sixth week of pregnancy - something really splendid, something I celebrate almost incessantly - I find that my heart is often heavier in missing her, in wishing it were she, again, inside, waiting to breathe life. And wishing that life would be long. I am filled with joy and anticipation, dread and suspense, apprehension and anxiety, hope and expectation as I sit only a few weeks into this wild, wondrous adventure. It is weird to share the news with so many at so early a stage, but I suppose it's fitting. Nothing in this journey for us has been off-limits - no depths, no heights. So somehow, despite the typical 'don't-tell-until-it's-safe' rhetoric most of us buy into these days, I have to tell. Is there really a 'safe'? Other than in the grips of Jesus, I think not.

What would it look like for each of us to live not just knowing about Heaven but wanting it? Longing for it? I don't think any of us can until it's more than either eternal choir-singing or a state of mind. Neither appeal very much to me, nor should they. No, I want a Heaven that looks like home. Only brighter, and richer, and fuller, and sweeter. I want a Heaven that, when I get there, makes me realize I've only been breathing what seemed like air. I've only tasted what seemed like food. And laughed what seemed like a real laugh. I want a Heaven where everything I love now is better. I think that's what I will find. Because everything good here is just a glimpse of what is to come.

I beseech your prayers. I don't think I can ask God to bless me because of what I've been through. I don't know if that's because I believe it's unbiblical; no, rather, I don't think that at all. I'm asking for blessing, though - and I suppose if I had to give a reason, I'd simply say it's because I believe He loves me. Nothing I've done or gone through deserves any extra heap of goodness. And of course He doesn't love me any more than He did before. I just understand His love a little more.

So I ask. I ask for health, and for life that is brimming over with fullness and hope and promise. I've even asked for more than one life! We shall see. It's a bit like asking for the proverbial Christmas BB gun. Perhaps a bit daring. But I happen to believe God likes to do things that make us smile. Here's to seeing what's up His sleeve.


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144 comments:

Kyle Chowning said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

That video was awesome. It was so good to see it and to hear from you. Congrats on the new baby. I will be praying for your family of "5".

Kyle Chowning (again) said...

A great story and a legacy that will live on beyond the days, months and years ahead. Thanks for your continued vulnerability.

Robyn said...

Thank you for your candour. I'm certainly continuing to pray for your family.

Lori said...

LOVE the video. LOVE your family. More then anything....LOVE THE GOD WE SERVE!

Thank you for abiding in Him and bearing much fruit. (John 15)

Mommynurse said...

We will be contending with you for this little life (or lives)! Thank you for sharing the news, even though it's so early. It challenges me to not be so cautious next time around.

Marlina said...

Congratulations! I know it's probably a scary time, as well as exciting, but hang in there! Our family is still praying for your family, daily in our homeschool time. Can't wait to hear more about your exciting journey, and Sellers' and Copelands' new sibling/siblings!!

joygross said...

What a wonderful heartfelt video.. What a beautiful family you are in the physical and spiritual. Thank you for sharing with us.. and I am so excited to go on this next journey with you guys... blessings.

Kim (marygracesummons.blogspot.com) said...

Boothe,
This video is so moving and such a testimony of God's awesome power to bring joy in such sorrowful circumstances. Your family is beautiful and joy radiates from each of you. Copeland is such a beautiful baby girl and when I saw Mary Grace for the first time I thought of Copeland. Copeland was the first of too many who helped to teach me how to truly long for Heaven.
Praising God for your good news, I will be praying for you. I will especially pray for peace and comfort so that you can enjoy every second of your pregnancy.
With love,
Kim

Anonymous said...

Congratulations! I am so excited for you and can't wait to follow your journey through this pregnancy with you. Please, keep us updated often with the milestones that you go through. I am planning on my second pregnancy very soon, and I am so happy to know that in some distant far-away, internet land sort of way, we will be going through this together.
I will pray for you and your family, and the new little one that you are carrying. I believe that you have been incredible in turning your situation into a positive, uplifting, learning experience for a lot of readers of your blog. I believe that God's blessings will be readily given to you for the awesome faith that you have and share.
Thank you so much.

Terry said...

Dear Boothe, and family, thank-you for sharing the video, this is truely amazing gift of God. Your testimony will inspire and help others that are going through the hard times as well.
I have been waiting and watching your blog. Thank-you for sharing your news,You and your family will be on our prayer list at chuch.
God Bless You! Terry

Rebecca said...

Congratulations! :)

Darby Stickler said...

Sweet Boothe, I've always admired you for your transparency and this post is such an example of your realness & honesty. The video was powerful and such an amazing look into the reality of what y'all have been through and are going through. Sellers is so beautiful and will be such an awesome big sister. Congrats on #3 and I will be praying for you (& the fam)!
love you!

Amanda said...

First of all, thank you, once again, for sharing. Secondly, congratulations!! I, too, will be praying for your family of 5!

Jenny said...

Congratulations...I'm so happy to hear your news. I pray that this pregnancy will fill you with His peace and love and that you may be able to enjoy every single moment of it. I think of you all the time.

Erin said...

Congratulations, and thank you for sharing your story with us! As a mother who has been longing for, and has lost 3 children at various stages in pregnancy over the last couple of years, I understand your heart. (while maybe not completely - because I've never birthed a precious baby, and then handed it back to Him) God IS so good, and His plan IS perfect - even if everything within us is screaming for something other than what we are experiencing. Praying for a very healthy pregnancy! :0)

Julie said...

I have shared comments with you a few times in the past. I too, lost my son at only 8 days old. Only we knew nothing of his brain damage until he was born. Fully healthy except he had suffered a lack of oxygen during pregnancy somewhere, somehow. I have loved and cherished your words through your grief with Copeland. You have brought out thoughts and feelings that I fully experienced with my Noah. Only... just didn't understand them until someone explained it. I feel such a connection to you through our similarities. 6 months after we lost Noah, I was pregnant with our Megan. I know the longing of that next baby. The emptiness your feel after the one you expected to complete your family was taken away. And I know the uncertainty, the worry, the doubt that you can do this again. I made it through the pregnancy knowing that God used me in ways I never understood. And if it be his will, he can use me in other ways. To bring glory to him through a healthy baby or maybe not. But I love your complete trust in him, I think it is the only way. And like you, again, I am in my 6th week of pregnancy. We have a 4yr girl, 1 yr girl and now expecting another. And again, I fight the unknown. What will happen this time? So together I pray with you for peace, for Him to fulfill his will in our live and to hold our babies in his hands and deliver them healthy and whole into our lives. God bless you and everything you have done for people in your shoes.

jenni said...

I learned about your pregnancy last week from school & i have been praying for you & the baby. i pray for peace for you & for your body to be strong & nourshing to this precious life. thank you for sharing your news so that we may pray for your family!
let's get to that coffee date!!

KM said...

Covering you in prayer. Asking for your blessing in this season of pregnancy and rebirth.

Really want to tell you how much I have been blessed by the words of your heart. Thank you for sharing.

Kristi in Texas

Randy & Rachel said...

Thank you for being real and authentic in your struggles and in your joys. I'll be praying for you and your family and this precious new life. God bless!

Anonymous said...

YOU are Awesome, YOUR Family is Awesome and OUR GOD IS AWESOME. A wonderful story. I pray for your family everyday. I am so excited for the new baby on the way. Please keep sharing your family with us. Your Friend in Christ!

Jaclyn said...

Boothe,
this just thrills my heart. I am SO happy to hear you are expecting and I promise to be praying for you all.
The video is beautiful, i know you and your family will treasure it forever.

Laurie said...

Hey Boothe,

What a wonderful video of your family of four. Your honesty just blesses me so much. I think you already know how excited I am for you carrying your #5 member of your family. This is an answer to so many prayers. You and Conor and Sellers can count on me to pray you through with peace and joy. Praying for all of this just because I know how much He loves you.:) I love you guys so much.

Laurie in Ca.

Amber said...

Boothe-
I have been reading your blog since before Copeland was born. I am friends with Krista Nebrig from high school and Auburn. My heart has ached for you. Thank you for sharing your amazing testimony. God has definitely used you in my life. I have been praying for you and your sweet family. I just wanted you to know that I am so excited for you. Praise God for baby #3. I will be praying for health and life. God Bless. Amber (Wright) Boylan

Laura said...

Oh the little piece of hope that is growing each day in your womb as well as your heart! Praying as you walk the fine line between grief and hope! Praying for strength as well as a quietness that will bring comfort. Can't wait to hear updates!

erika said...

Boothe! What an awesome video, testimony, and faith! I am thrilled for you and your pregnancy and will be praying for you fervently!!!
love,
erika

Jennie-Marie said...

Congratulations! I'm so excited for all of you. My husband called me this morning and said "check The Blog, Boothe is pregnant." Made me wonder just how many people have been touched and continue to be touched by your incredible thoughts, words, and faith. Thank you for sharing all of yourself. We continue to pray for your beautiful family!

Carly McWhirter said...

What a beautiful video. I comend the honesty that you guys have been able to share with all of us here. Truly an amazing family. We will be praying for your cup to runneth over...We love you!

Supabloggasuprememama said...

how wonderfully exciting! Congratulations and many prayers for you and your beautiful family! God is good!

MaryMartha said...

What exciting news! Thank you for sharing. You thoughts and life encourage my family.

Lisa said...

Thank you for sharing the video - what a true testament of dependence on God. We'll be praying for all of you - especially for this new baby. Congratulations.

Sunshine Eyes said...

THANK YOU for sharing this with all of us. I'll be praying for you as you wait.

Ashley said...

The video is truly beautiful; a testament of faith and faithfulness. Thank you for sharing it. I'm praying for you all and rejoicing with you, the "prisoners of hope", that He will "restore twice as much to you."

Emmy : ) said...

I am SO thrilled for you all! I read your post this morning and you have been on my heart all day!

I have been and will continue to pray... "for health, and for life that is brimming over with fullness and hope and promise!" : )

Thank you for sharing... you write and share your heart so beautifully! It is a gift to all!

I praise Him for your precious family! Emmy (GA)

P.S. I just ordered your book! I can't wait till it comes in!

Kaylane said...

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to PROSPER you and not to harm you, plans to give you a HOPE and a FUTURE!"

I absolutely adore that scripture because even when you feel like He has left you, His Word says that He is there! He is there and He is already preparing the way for the tiny life that inside of you! PRAISE GOD!

I have been in constant prayer for you over the past week or so and will continue to beg for God's protection over your body and your baby's body. I too am pregnant and although I have not had to experience the loss of a child, Satan still tries to attack me by making me feel like someone awful could and will happen to our family. It is my prayer that whatever lies he is whispering into our ears will be destroyed and that the voice of God will replace that void!

I love you and am so excited for you!

Shannon said...

I had been wondering how you were doing...Congrats on the new life within! We are hoping to try again in the next several months and it is scary to think about. I will daily pray for you.

Much love, Shannon

By the way, I look forward to hearing baby names! You have such sweet names for your girls. Do you have any boy names up your sleeve?:)

erin said...

so glad to hear from you again :) i get excited every time your blog shows up in my reader!! you are the first person whom i have "met" this year who has been on this journey with T18. bc of you and your story i have been blessed to follow all of the other amazing families that link to each other bc of T18. all of you have made me more grateful for life and my daughter. i am so excited for you and this new baby and am grateful that you are taking us along for the ride. blessings upon you in heaps!!

Jessica said...

SO good to hear from you.
The video was just so amazing.
The words you spoke ring so true.
thank you...

Anonymous said...

Beautiful video! Thanks for sharing your story. Congratulations!

Anonymous said...

congrats on your pregnancy- this song might speak to you, I know it has for another family who is experiencing a similar situation.
Glory Baby by Watermark

Kelli Bridges said...

Booth,
What a beautiful video. I have only come across your blog for the last two days. I stayed up last night reading your story. I just couldn't stop. I hope to buy your book soon. :)I've been touched by your incredible words or faith and your trust in God.I really admire you. You simply amaze me. Congratulations on your family of five. You are in my prayers.

Cynthia Eriksen said...

Boothe, it was so good to hear from you and congrats on the new baby. I will be praying for your family in this new journey.

Mandy said...

Oh, Boothe. I love the video. And a new baby? Congrats. A new addition to your family! I will continue to pray for you! It's good to see a new post from you!

Jen said...

Oh Boothe!! It was all I could do not to scroll straight down and congratulate you after I read your news (I will admit I haven't watched the video though *wink* I will though) However, I perservered, and read your beautiful, honest words and now, here I am, leaving my comments.

I am so, so, so deliriously happy for you. Do not feel guilty if you do not. *soft smile* My prayers will now become ever more ferverant for you, sweet heart. That you can relax and enjoy this time. That this will be a time of jubilant rejoicing. That the heartcahe of missing your precious Copeland is relieved to bareable.

You are still in my heart like family.

The Badens said...

L'chaim. (To Life).

Barr Family said...

I don't know you all personally but have followed you for some time now, having found you through another website. The video was just beautiful. Congratulations on your pregnancy. Your family will be lifted up in my prayers.
God bless you. Amanda

Ginny said...

We are so happy to hear the news and will be praying for a healthy baby.

Lynn said...

Congratulations on the new baby! That video was beautiful.Thank you so much for sharing your story and being so transparent, real, and honest. You have a beautiful family! Your faith and love for our Lord is so encouaring! I think I left you a comment on your last post... Just wanted to let you know that I've been praying for your family and I will keep you in my prayers!
-Lynn

miss julie said...

Beautiful video about a beautiful family! Thank you for sharing your wonderful news.

Love and Hugs

MLS said...

Thank you for posting this video. How we should all long to be where we were "designed" to be, as you said. Praise the Lord for allowing you to see things through that lens.
Proverbs 31:25 "She (a woman of character) is clothed with strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come." I pray that, because you know who God says He is, which is truth, you will be able to trust him with the days ahead in this pregnancy.

Lauren
Memphis, TN

Mari-jane said...

Congratulations, and God Bless You & Yours! Your generous soul continues to share so much of yourslef and spreading that faith, hope, & love helps so many lives. Thank You!

Kristy said...

I am so glad you are writing again! I have so missed your "voice." The video is beautiful, and my heart rejoices with news of your pregnancy!

Rhandi said...

I had followed your story a few months ago and then another friend sent me a link again this morning. We have somewhat similar stories. I lost a baby just one day after my induction to Group B Strep and went on to have another child less than a year after our loss. The journey from the time of our loss to the birth of our second son was long and for me an emotional rollercoaster. You are such an inspiration and a strong person. I am praying for you and your family to have some peace during your journey even if it is just for for those little moments. ((Hugs))

athweatto said...

Boothe,
I was so excited to hear your news from "Miss" Anna! You and your precious baby will be in my daily prayers. Thank you for sharing the beautiful video. I have watched it several times and it touches me so deeply. Thank you! Allison O'Dell

Joanna said...

Boothe!! You don't know me but, i have kept up with your blog through the *journey*!! It always inspires me to dig deeper in His living water!!!

I *loved* the video, what a sweet testimony of His grace...even in complete heartache...and your words were so profound and honest!

My husband and I are from Texas...we are just "travelin through" Montana right now...John flies helicopters for the Air Force! So...i *love* to hear those twangs in your voice!! It takes me back to TEXAS twangs :)

we are praying for your family of 5!!! May you have great *joy* in this journey!!!

Believing!!
Joanna

simonsays said...

Congratulations, Boothe! I had actually heard about your pregnancy from Phyllis a couple of days ago and was absolutely thrilled for you. We WILL be praying!

Love,

Julie

Kate said...

congratulations! praying for you, conor, sellers, and baby#3, and always remembering copeland...

lindsay said...

Boothe, I happened to be at Fellowship with a friend on Easter Sunday and was so blessed to see your story portrayed though film. I will be praying fervently for this baby and wish you and Conor and Sellers all the best!!

Robin said...

Sweet Boothe and family,
I am so glad I checked your blog today. What a great gift he has given you. The video is so great. I will keep you lifted in my prayers. Robin Brookshire

Stephen, Whitney, Olivia Jane & Marshall Wood Eoff said...

What a precious video..and an even more precious family! You don't know me, but I have been following your family's story for months now and have been tremendously blessed by your testimony of real faith lived out as it should be! Thank you for your vulnerability with perfect strangers...for tenderly sharing what I can't imagine ever being able to find the words for, for your transparency, your authentic faith, sweet spirit and precious heart! I love your heart and have been truly so blessed, ministered to and encouraged as I've prayed for you and continue to read all God's doing in your lives! He's using you in HUGE ways to bring thousands of people closer to Him. What a celebration it will be in heaven some day! Congratulations on expecting again! We'll be praying for you guys and look forward indeed to "seeing what He has up His sleeve!" Blessings to your sweet family!

Sheryl said...

So glad I checked in. So glad to see you're back. You were one of the first blogs I started following that has led to an amazing experience.

Thanks for sharing. Congratulations! I will be praying God's peace for all you and that He will bring many blessings.

Anonymous said...

God is good! I will be praying for you, the new baby, and all of your family as you walk through this pregnancy.

In regard to your post on Oprah, I recently was made aware of a YouTube video that sums up all of her "message". It shows her saying that it is crazy to think there is only one Way, that there are millions of ways to God. It also includes an interview with the author of the book, A New Earth, which she is promoting heavily. Here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW4LLwkgmqA

Candy said...

Congrats and many prayers for a healthy pregnancy, mommy and baby.

Anonymous said...

Boothe,
I have followed your blog for a while now. My husband and I have had 2 miscarriages in 4 months, and although I won't pretend to know your pain, I can relate in some way. I am so excited for this new journey for you and you family, and will be praying for you. I can understand the fear and excitement, the joy and the apprehension. I hope to soon be pregnant again as well and know those are things I will experience. Blessings to you all.

Rachelle said...

That was amazing!!! I have no doubts God has BIG plans for your family!!!

Rachael said...

Thank you for sharing your story...it moved me to tears! My prayers will be with you and your family!!!

Anonymous said...

what a blessing your little Copeland is. May God bless your pregnancy. Thank you for sharing your family with me....you are in my prayers.

Jessica said...

Boothe - you are a beautiful, inspiring woman. I've never been one to read "stranger's" blogs, but was introduced to you by a friend who has also lost a child. I have learned so much from reading back through your blog over the last 6 months. I'm also 28 and have been a believer since the age of 4, but you are opening my eyes to new truths through your online ministry here. It is amazing to see how God has used your grief to touch so many lives (including your own). As a new mother (1st child is 10 months old), my greatest fear is losing him even now. While I know that God does not call us to live in fear, but to trust in Him and to give it all over to Him, it is much easier said than done. You have demonstrated what that means. Thank you for blessing me and others. I will lift you, Conor, Sellers, and the new little one in prayer daily. Please consider that my covenant to you.

Grammy and Olivia said...

Congratulations! The baby on the way is wonderful news. I know (from experience) that this is not about replacing one life with another. The new life you carry will bring such great joy to your whole family--enjoy the journey! I will be praying for all of you.

mom22girls said...

Boothe,
You truly have been an inspiration to me in so many ways. We will definitely be praying for the blessings of the new baby or babies on the way! For the future, hope and plans God has for your precious family. Remembering Copeland and how her life has touched so many and will continue to do so through the years, she has left an indelible mark on many ... like a small wave that grows into a larger one. Also, wanted to lift up the Lawrenson family ... you referred to them in a blog of yours awhile back. Tricia received the call tonight for her new lungs, she is in surgery as I type. Thank you for sharing your life with those you don't know ... God is ministering to many through your journey.
Michelle

Cindy said...

May God always bless and watch over your family. You are an incredible inspiration to me!

Anonymous said...

I don't know you or your family, infact I can't even remember how I came across your blog. I just wanted to let you know that God IS using you in mighty ways. I'm so sorry that it has had to be something so difficult for you to go through. I can't imagine what it is like for you to lose your little girl. However, I pray that if I should face that kind of adversity in my life, that I would have the faith that you and your husband have embraced through this terribly difficult situation. You are truly inspirational.
Matthew 5:34
"He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."
It sounds impossible to be freed from the kind of suffering that you are going through. But we do serve a mighty God! Thank you for sharing your story!

The Curtis Crew said...

What a beautiful video. Thank you for being so open to share what you've been through and continue to experience. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

grey like snuffie said...

Asking for a blessing is never out of line. No matter what our circumstances are we are blessed if we call Him LORD. Health and peace to you and your new little one(s). Weep with those who weep and rejoice with those rejoice. I get both parts and so does He.

Kenzie Stanfield said...

Boothe-

The video is beautiful... testifying to God's goodness and faithfulness, even through such deep longing.

Congratulations on your "new baby"... He is so good.

Love and praying for you,
Kenzie

Karen said...

Boothe,
Don't ever stop asking. We are here feeling so blessed to have the opportunity to pray for your family!

trisha j said...

Truly one of the most beautiful testimonies I have ever bore witness to. Thank you for sharing...God bless you all....all five of you!

Anonymous said...

Been checking back in with you and it's good to hear your thoughts! Thank you for sharing your heart and a big congratulations on your pregnancy....I am walking similarly with you at 9 weeks along so I will be praying for you and thinking of you during this journey...

In Chattanooga

Summer in FL said...

I've lurked on your blog for months. I hurt for you. Yet, I can rejoice with you in the truth that you and your daughter will be reunited one day. I pray that God will give you renewed strength each day. It's real easy to praise God when everything is going our way --- but praising him during the struggles, the storms, the unthinkables --- well, that's just faith and his unfailing mercy. Hold your head high, Boothe. There are Christian mothers who read your story and receive a blessing. Through your tragedy, you are a blessing!

Wendy said...

I think one of the most beneficial things about your story is that you lay everything out there. You admit to the anger, the grief, the fear, etc. and yet still cling firmly to His promises. You help others see that our relationship with God isn't dependent upon our feelings towards Him. I have missed your insightful words, but was thrilled to check in on your blog and learn of the new path on your journey. May God continue to bless and use your family for His glory.

JUST A MOM said...

Boothe although I do not stop by daily I do think of you often. I have come and read your post and hearing of the new baby warms my heart for you. Not that you will replace but that I pray the joy will help. Joy that will be a nice thing... bless you all.

Mandy said...

So good to hear from you. I am happy you are expecting again, though I imagine it is so hard to let go and celebrate it just yet. Fear robs us of many things. I think of you daily and wonder how you are. The video was so sweet and such a sweet testiment to your love for Copeland and God's faithfulness. Keep in touch. My email address has changed. It is bm4boys@yahoo.com

Mandy
www.madelinegracehopkins.blogspot.com

Wrights said...

Congratulations! We will be praying for health for you and your baby and that God would grant you complete peace all throughout your pregnancy. We still pray for your family often as God brings you to mind.

Nathaniel, Rebekah, Anna Walton and Olivia

Anonymous said...

Boothe: CONGRATULATIONS on your new little life. I am so happy for you. And I will be praying too.

Karen in TN

Mary C said...

God bless you and your pregnancy, Boothe! I will pray for you. Thank you for sharing the video. It was beautiful.

Heather said...

Boothe,
I have been reading your blog and keeping you in prayer for months now. I am thrilled to learn of your pregnancy and I am filled with JOY and HOPE for you and your sweet family. Enjoy every second of it and I am praying hard for that tiny baby. Thanks for sharing your wonderful, wonderful news. All the time, God is good.

shelley. said...

congratulations, boothe. i have been reading your blog only since january. it has been a blessing. your family is an inspiration. as is your writing.

i too am in my 6th week. i will be thinking of you and praying with you for a healthy baby/babies!

Anonymous said...

Many congratulations to you on your wonderful news. It was lovely to see your new post today...I have been wondering how you all were and hoped you were ok. I love to read your words...you are an inspiration to me Boothe. Thinking of you in the early stages of your pregnancy...take care... love 'n' blessings Rhiannon, Wales, UK.

Angela said...

What a beautiful video. Praying for you guys--congrats!

Rebecca said...

Boothe,

I didn't have a chance to look at the video until these evening. What a wonderful piece. I have added it to the Trisomy-18 page on my blog: http://www.ramblingsbyreba.com/angels-from-heaven/.

You're in my prayers.

I love you all...

Rebecca

Sun said...

I haven't watched the video yet - but wanted to say WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am SO happy for you - happy beyond anything - WOW - what an amazing blessing to know that you are pregnant. I will be in prayer and anxiously awaiting to see what God indeed has up His sleeves! THANK YOU so much for sharing the news with us! Sunshine

sumi said...

What a faithful God we serve. I rejoice with you in your pregnancy and the new little blessing he is sending your way!

I must admit that this is a deep struggle for me...it is now 8 weeks since our little 3-and-a-half year old princess went to be with Jesus. She was the only girl amongst 3 brothers and I know that for us, there will not be any more pregnancies. I miss my precious girly-girl, and it breaks my heart to think that I will never have the daughter my heart had always longed for.

I know God is faithful - Job got back 7 sons and 3 daughters for the ones he had lost. Your story too, can give me hope that perhaps, somewhere down the line, Jesus will bless me with another little girl to love. No-one could ever come near to replacing Jenna's place in my heart, (I know you can relate) but I would love to have a little shopping partner and have lots of pink items in my laundry and tea-sets, stuffed toys and princess-y stuff in the play room again.

www.sumijoti.wordpress.com

Sweetteach said...

Boothe,
I am a stranger to you, but not to your story. I found your site through your blog designer, and went back and read every entry from the very beginning of your story about Copeland. Tears stream down my face as I write this, because I have spent the last hour, (well much longer than that probably) furious at God. Wow! It's hard to even write that, but hearing you voice this same feeeling outloud, reminds me that I do indeed have a God that loves me, and it's o.k. to scream "Where ARE YOU?!"

My precious two year old (my baby) Avery has a rare disease that causes tumors to grow on every organ in her body. She has been having seizures since she was three and a half months old. A year ago, just days after her first birthday she underwent two brain surgeries to remove some of the tumors thought to be causing the seizures. We almost lost her to complications from the second surgery. For four blissful months we experienced life without seizures. When they returned in July of '07, it was beyond devastating.

She continues to have multiple seizures every day. It is extremely painful to watch, and we have asked God to give her perfect healing, and freedom from the seizures. And yet they rage on. I want to scream at God. "How can you let this happen?" but am afraid of the repercussions you mentioned in the video. Thank you for reminding me that we have a God that says "I understand. Be patient and wait on me."

I could write forever of the ways your journey has changed my life. Thank you for your brutal honesty and for sharing your life with us. You have two beautiful girls!

God bless you Boothe!
Lisa from Kansas
(to follow Avery's story www.carepages.com enter page name LittleMissAveryUpdates)

Barbie@ Mamaology said...

I am praying for you and your new little miracle! May the Lord cont. to still your heart and bless you beyond all your dreams!!!!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations! Boothe, you and your family have touched so many people. I have never met you, probably never will and you have touched my life in a very special way. I will say, as part of a prayer chain your story was passed on to me, I then passed it on to many others and we still check your blog and talk about your amazing faith. I can't imagine being pregnant after the previous journey is easy - but our God is an awesome God. Have faith. Thank you for being you. Much love and prayers always. Congrats again!

Emily said...

What a beautiful video. Your family is beautiful, too. I am thanking God for the baby He has blessed with you and asking Him to be your all in all. My girls still thank God for Copeland every single meal and every single bedtime. "ThankyouGodforMillerGraceandbabyCopeland" - we hear it all the time. :) I thank God for these girls and their God and all He is doing through them.

Tarah said...

I just wanted to say congratulations! But I also want you to know that I will be praying. I lost my first baby to a miscarriage and then 3 months later got pregnant for my son, Gideon. For awhile when I was pregnant for Gideon I wanted it to be the baby I lost (Grace) I had such a hard time understanding why I couldn't have my other baby. But before I knew it I fell in love with Gideon just as I had Grace. Sadly my son also died as your Copeland did, 6 short weeks after he was born. I know it can be hard and confusing trying to deal with death and pregnancy of another baby but here is a reason God gave you Copeland and there is a reason God is giving you the baby (babies!) growing inside your womb. I pray God reveals himself to you and your family durning this pregnancy. Also for saftey of both mom and baby(ies).

Tarah

P.S. I love the video.

Amanda and Kyle said...

Boothe,
Your story inspires me. I am the same age and have 2 little girls. I can't imagine not having either one of them. I enjoy reading you story and will keep you in my prayers in the coming months. Congratulations on your new baby, I wish you the best!

Stilla Momma said...

Thank you for sharing this. We lost twins in 2006, and I had this anger with God and everyone around us for all sorts of reasons that I couldn't even articulate. What a longing for heaven when we get to see our Savior's face and the sweet reunion with our children. God bless you. What a great video and a real testimony that I can relate to and grow as a result.

Anonymous said...

Yes - an honor to pray for you.

Tina

Ben said...

boothe.

( i had to use my hubby's blogger id to leave a comment. i am in the process of putting up my own blog, and i haven't quite figured everything out yet!)

i have been following your story for quite sometime. i don't even remember how i first stumbled upon it. it has been such a blessing and encouragement to my heart. i am deeply grateful that you have decided to share your story about copeland and the love of Christ with strangers. I have read this blog many times and left it feeling so many things: sorrow, joy, edification, anger, confusion, happiness but most of all i have always felt peace. i know we serve a mighty God, one who is always looking out for our needs and meeting us where we are, every moment. i just wanted to thank you for sharing your story.
i was excited as i read this last post. my heart was so full upon reading about your new pregnancy. i stopped and praised Jesus for His goodness, and how he is bringing things together, full circle, for you and your family. but i was also excited because i am also pregnant. this is my first pregnancy. my husband and i have been married for 15 months, and we are so excited about this new life. i am only 25 and naive to the things concerning pregnancy and all that goes with it. but i can tell you, because of your testimony, that i am unafraid. i have learned, even deeper, how to trust God with this baby. i am almost 7 weeks pregnant, so i believe we will be due around the same time, which is neat to me. but i am not worried about any disease or problem that could come during this pregnancy. i have learned that this life is a gift from God, and no matter the bill of health for my child, i will praise Him.
i am praying for you, your baby, and your family. May the Lord bless you, and i know He will keep you.

~ Audrey W.
Memphis, TN
auds404@hotmail.com

Anonymous said...

The video was so beautiful. Congratulations and many blessings to you all. Your story has changed my life and inspired my faith.
Amanda in WI

erin w said...

Your video is beautiful, and an inspiring story of true relationship with God! Congratulations on your pregnancy! I am praying for your pregnancy and for the health of your new little baby!

Candy said...

I just had time to watch the video, but read the post a few days ago. Anyway, I wanted to thank you for sharing that. I've been reading your blog for a long time and have always admired and been thankful for your openness and honesty. This video was beautiful and another example of that wonderful quality you have. I know you have helped people to reconnect to God through your blog. God bless you, Connor, Sellers, Copeland and your new little one.

Anonymous said...

that was beautiful! I am glad to see you smiling! I know it is still hard, but you will be OK! God promises that! Congrats!

Hooks Family said...

Thank you for your posts. I lost my twin boys one day after they were born in 2005 - I was pregnant with triplets, my survivor is now 2. I recently had a surprise baby boy last September - God used this surprise miracle to heal me (and my husband). Thank you for your openess. Your words have been a blessing to me.

ACC-mom said...

Congrats!! Praying for you.

Anonymous said...

An absolutely beautiful video. What a testimony of God's faithfulness in the midst of such pain and sorrow. Thank you for continuing to share your journey with us ... I rejoice with you over the new life growing within you and look forward to following your pregnancy!

Praying blessings over your precious family.

Valerie said...

I can't get the video to work. Is anyone else having that problem?

Laurie said...

Hey Girl,

Just me checking in on you and letting you know I love you guys and am praying for the beautiful life (s) growing inside you right now. Asking God to remove all fear, anxiety and doubts so that your joy may be full. I am so excited for you and for Miss Sellers. Have a wonderful week.

Love, Laurie in Ca.

Elizabeth S said...

I am so thrilled for you and Conor. I was blessed by your video. I have followed you since you were pregnant with Copeland. I was changed by her and by your sharing her story. Honestly, life got crazy and I forget sometimes how I was changed. Thank you for reminding me. I can't wait to see what God has in store for this new soul!

one happy family said...

Thank you for sharing with us. I do believe it has made me a better mom to my two boys. I chrish everyday I have with them. Congratulations on the pregnancy! I pray for health and happiness for all of you! God Bless!

mom2izzyandallen said...

I am so excited to hear your news. I follow your blog closely, and I am always encouraged by your insightful truth about the Lord. I too, have been contemplating Heaven and questioning my "assumptions" of what it will be like. Oh to live in the reality or the REAL Heaven to come. Thanks again!

The Andersons said...

I initially found your blog on "accident" but have since realized the fate...I have found great comfort in your blogs since we lost our baby at 12 weeks. Thank you for translating into words, what so many of us think.

Chrissy said...

It has been a few weeks since I sat down to actually read others blogs. I just love your video and am so happy to hear the news. I will be thinking of you all and praying you through. Thanks for continuing to share!

mandajune said...

Boothe, I stumbled onto your site through a recommendation on Google Reader. I know that's random. But I just want to thank you for sharing your life and your heart through this blog. The strength that the Lord has given you to seek and follow him is so encouraging, and his goodness is clear in your family. I am going through a rough time but also sensing God's presence and peace in ways I wouldn't have thought possible, but hey, that's the kind of God we serve. Anyway -- thank you. For being open, for being real, for loving Jesus. And for continuing to share. You are a huge blessing.

Anonymous said...

Boothe-
As many of the ppl who write you-- I am a friend of a friend of a friend.....but I read your blog and love your heart!I am praying for health for you and your baby. Before I read your blog today I was on youtube and came across a song--it reminded me of you and to pray for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2m1HZekCcc

Tracy

Amy said...

That was beautiful Boothe. It was really nice to put a voice with all the words I have read on your blog. Congrats on the pregnancy. Praying for Twins, it is!

Bethany said...

I just learned of and read your whole story this evening. My heart still hurts for you, but thank you for the reminder of the reality of heaven. I am traveling to my home state on Saturday to await the death and funeral of my grandma. Some of your testimony of God's grace and strength will go with me. I am praying with all these others that God grants you a completely healthy pregnancy.

Jenny said...

Congratulations.

I'll pray for you and your baby.

Jesse and Shanee said...

Hi Boothe, My name is Shanee and I've been following your blog a little for the last few months. I lost my baby daughter as well, about 3 months ago. She lived 14 hours. So your openness has been a great comfort to me. Thank you for helping me grieve. And I do pray that you will have a healthy pregnancy and baby.

Laura said...

I just found out about your blog through Angie Smith's blog. I am so sorry about Copeland. The video is amazing and what a testimony to others-myself included. Congratulations on your pregnancy-I'll be praying for you and your family.

Kara Sheets said...

thank you for sharing that video. your words and experiences are such an example of what it means to be a true believer of God! not everything is 'happy and healthy' just because you believe.
life is marked with seasons of sadness and joy. so it is during that time that we rejoice with you during this pregnancy! what great anticipation of new life you must be feeling! we will be praying for things to progress well...and you know how we feel about two babies at once! : )

Anonymous said...

Congratulations. You will certainly be in my thoughts and prayers.

Kelley Brown said...

Oh Boothe! My heart is full of joy for you,Conor and Sellers!!! I am clearly late reading this news, but I will begin praying for the life (or lives!!) inside of you today. It is a joy to walk through this with you, and I look forward to reading more updates. Thanks for sharing the news.

Sending love and congrats,
Kelley

Lindy Simpson Jones said...

Boothe, You are a breath of fresh air for me. I have read about you thru Shelli Allen. Perspective...God has given you. Last night I read your story and wept. I then went upstairs and got on my knees and prayed over my two children, thanking God for their sweet little lives and for the time that He has given me with them. I pondered on Heaven last night, wishing all of the things as you. Thank you for sharing and for being honest. You are in my prayers.

Rachel said...

Congratulations! Such joyous news; I can't remember being happier for anyone. I'll be praying for you all over the next few months. Keep us posted as to how we can specifically pray.

The Nebrigs said...

love you and praying for you. i am very excited about your news. i can't imagin the emotion you must feel. keep reminding yourself this life is a blink in time, you and your family will have eternity to be with Copeland in the presence of our heavenly father. I can't wait to meet her too. until then, i bet my mom is giving her so good lovin. oh how she loved some babies!! love you!

Sarah's In the Midst of It said...

Congratulations! You've probably already read their update, but Matt and Ginny Mooney have a similar post on their blog--I'm praying God's blessings, health, and restoration over both of your families!

Phyl said...

My heart is filled to the brim with joy.

Loving you and yours from afar...praying daily.

Hugs...

Karen said...

Boothe,

I hope you are having a great, care-free day!

Praying right now!

Karen said...

Boothe,

I just watched the video again. I wanted to share a quote from my friend's site. Her husband was killed in a car accident in November. Here it begins:

I will leave you with an excerpt from an article written by John Piper (my hero in the faith), sent to my inbox just this day, on the one-month anniversary of Jon's passing. It is subtitled 'Why Christians suffer losses.' Dec. 5, 2007:

'Being confident in God does not make the pain less deep, but less broad. If some things are settled with God, there are boundaries around the field of pain. In fact, by being focused and bounded, the pain of loss may go deeper—as a river with banks runs deeper than a flood plain. But with God in his firm and proper place, the pain need not spread out into the endless spaces of ultimate meaning. This is a great blessing, though at the time it may simply feel no more tender than a brick wall. But what a precious wall it is!'

I don't know which outweighs the other: the agony or beauty of these days. When I cannot stop crying, I still can affirm Piper's words above. I KNOW God is good. I KNOW I am His beloved. I KNOW He will care for us. I KNOW He called Jonathan home to Him. I KNOW Jon is free from the bonds and cares of this world, and He SEES this great cloud of witnesses. Oh glory. Oh my Jonathan!

I don't know if you can attest to that quote, but when I look back on the relatively small trials I have had, I see that truth.

courtney said...

Many congratulations to you and your sweet family. I will continue praying for a safe and sweet pregnancy journey...

The Agarwals said...

What a touching video that brought such clarity to what you've been speaking about for all these months. I pray that as people see it, as they hear your story, Copeland's story, that their lives will continue to be impacted, that they will understand that the loving and powerful God we serve never leaves us. May this new journey you are on, be one of peace, joy and multiplied blessings, as you trust Him with this new life, just as you trust Him with Copeland now.
Though we've never met, know you are deeply loved and prayed for!
Blessings always!
Annie

ronchristymyers said...

Boothe,

I have been reading your blog over the last 3 months. This is the first time I have left a comment. I wanted to tell you that I have thought of you often and so glad to see you are using Copelands life and death to give GOD the Glory. So many times in our life when going through a valley we turn against GOD. You have truly shown people GOD does give you the grace and strength to make it. My second child has a very rare form of MD. He was diagnosed at 6 months. We were told he wouldn't live to be a year old. I remember those days of feeling helpless, angry, and wondering if GOD was there. GOD hasd had a different plan for Ethan so far. He just celebrated his 5th day in March. He is on trached/vent 24 hours but give us joy daily. I don't know the pain of losing a child yet but I do know the feelings you have of not having control. I want to thank you for showing the world there is a GOD and that he is REAL and helps his children.

Pam said...

I missed this post because of issues in our family, but I am thrilled to see, along with you, "what God has up His sleeve."

Through it all, may His name be praised!

Anonymous said...

Conner, Boothe,and Sellers,

I have followed your story since about the time Copeland went to be with Jesus. I just wanted to say that your testimony has touched my life in a way that I will remember all my life. I pray that God will bless your family for your faithfulness to Him and your willingness to be so real before us and Him! Thank you so much! Sara Dana from Montana

Mommyof2 said...

I do not know how I even found my way to your site, but I was touched by the video. I remember when my daughter was hospitalized 3days after being born, being so angry at God. As my husband and I prayed, I let loose and yelled in the hospital room. Then at age 2 seeing she was not developing as quickly as the others, to finally getting a diagnosis of Sensory Integration and Apraxia, I had anger. I found it almost easier to not talk to God because I was so sick and tired of being angry. Your video touched on that, and though I thought I was past everything, there is something within me that remains stale and hardened. God bless you. I pray God ushers this new life inside of you into this world, and that with her birth and long life, God begins to unravel some "How's," if not "Why's."

Hillary Kouba said...

Awesome video! Thanks for sharing!

Nicole said...

Boothe,

You don't know me. I linked t0 you from Angie Smith (http://www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com)
I have to children in heaven, both sent to the Holy Father nine months apart. I felt so much anger when this happened to me that my belief in Jesus nearly ceased to exist. Two years later, the pain is still there, though dimmer, like an old light bulb still clinging to stay bright.

The video taught me, if nothing else, to know God and know He has the bigger and better plan. I thank you for being so open.

The Eckerts said...

Congrats!!!

What a great God we serve.

Misty Rice said...

I found the story and what a beautiful one it was. I look forward to see the untold part of this journey your family is on be unwrapped by God. Thank you for your testimony and your gift of faith in our God.

I am deeply sorry for your loss and I pray that God has given you the peace in all of this.

God Bless.

Carrie Beth said...

Boothe,

Thank you so much for allowing the Lord to move in you and through you in such a mighty way. You have an amazing gift - your words are so powerful. I just happened to stumble across your blog today, and I am sitting here now almost speechless. I have been touched by the story of your family... I've cried over Copeland's short life, and I've rejoiced over the lives of Sellers and new baby Emerette! I can sense the Spirit stirring in me, and I know that He is teaching me something through you.

Thank you again for being an instrument.

Praying for you and yours!

Merry Christmas!

Carrie Beth

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