Tuesday, January 13, 2009

a word of life

"God is higher than anything and anyone,
outshining everything you can see in the skies.
Who can compare with God, our God,
so majestically enthroned,
Surveying his magnificent
heavens and earth?
He picks up the poor from out of the dirt,
rescues the wretched who've been thrown out with the trash,
Seats them among the honored guests,
a place of honor among the brightest and best.
He gives childless couples a family,
gives them joy as the parents of children.
Hallelujah!"
(Psalm 113:4-9, The Message)

How great is the God who does not dismiss our pain, who validates and acknowledges our suffering and gives voice to our sorrows in such a way that even poverty or friendlessness are not too mournful to be excluded from the list of agonies that includes infertility.

I feel compelled to speak a word of life to you tonight. I don't know who among you is struggling with the longing for children but I know that you must be there... I felt the Father urging me last night to share these words that I wrote a little over a year ago as a prayer of anguish lifted up to Him. I never intended to do so, but I will follow His lead. I pray you will feel encouraged in knowing that He does hear you and that so much can change in just a few months' time. I learned I was pregnant with Emerette only a month and a half after writing the following:

"The heaviness of my present sorrow is so much that i often cannot face it. In ten days, my daughter will be four - and still, she has no living sibling. Sellers has an amazing imagination, lots of 'friends' she chats with, and I often find myself experiencing a mixture of delight at her incredible ability to create and guilt over my inability to provide for her the reality of a sibling with whom she can actually play.

Father God, if prayers on paper - prayers spoken by footsteps and heartbeats and each and every breath - are enough, why? How much longer? I beg You, I beseech You, I cast myself and my anguish before You - Lord, please, grant me this request. Fill my womb with life as You once did. As David said, 'Bless me for as long as You have afflicted me'. Where are You, Lord? Why is what i pray so earnestly for so seemingly off Your radar? Hear me. Please, God. Please. Show Yourself as real and loving and gracious and just. Quench my thirst and satisfy my soul. Lift my weary hear and annoint me with Your favor."

I pray you will read these words and, no matter what your heart is uneasy over, no matter what the desires stirring underneath, You will know that I lift these up for you tonight. He is faithful. He is good. And He delights to reveal the greatness of His might and the tenderness of His compassion. Be blessed.




post signature

38 comments:

Jen said...

Oh, gosh, Boothe. What a wrenching prayer. How could he not have answered? Be blessed yourself, dearest, for being obedient to His voice.

n8andbumber said...

Wow, thank you. Exactly what I needed to hear today.

Laurie in Ca. said...

May what you have written in obedience here be a blessing to all those who are waiting on the Lord to hear and answer their hearts prayer. His time so often is different than ours, but He has a perfect time. I will pray with you for those who need this Hope in their lives today. I love you Boothe and am so thankful that He answered your prayer.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Faith Blue said...

You're vulnerability acknowledges that I am not alone when I cry out to God in pain, disgust, agony, or sorrow. I am not at a stage in life where children are on the forefront of my thoughts, but I believe your prayer is universal of women all over - we have desires that are seemingly innate and ingrained into our souls, but when not met we wonder and doubt and ask. Thank you for sharing that secret part of your prayer life that is so valuable to each individual that knows Christ.

Katelyn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Terry said...

Dear Boothe I feel you have truely spoken to me today, IM glad your continue to write, I check all the time.
All 5 of my sister's have children and have lost at the same time. I am the only sister that has none, and has been wanting for so long. I feel sometimes, God has reason but, I can't begin to understand. I got the joy of being an Aunt and a Nanny and now they are far away to where I don't see them as much as I would like.
Thank-you for sharing with all of us. IT gave me hope and inspiration. Your words alone are beautiful beyond compare.
God Bless, All of you!

Julie said...

Thank you for sharing your words...you are truly a gift.

Hugs from Indiana!

April said...

Thank you for sharing, your heart, it was what I needed to hear. It is true that we can "comfort those from the comfort we ourselves have been given". Thank you for blessing me with His love.

Marie Evelyne Lanathoua said...

Dear Boothe, your prayer is beautiful, I never went through what many do, I was blessed with four great children, but the prayers that weighs heavy on me is the healing of a bad marriage. My prayers are for my ex, to be healed of what ever makes him who he is, many have told me that he chooses this, but I pray one day he will realize how much his life still affects ours, I struggle daily to give my children a happy life, but the void of not having a father figure is our pain. God Bless you Boothe your words are inspiring and healing for those of us that need God. Hope this all makes sense it is so hard to put my feelings in words.

Have a wonderful day and thank you!

Christina said...

Thank you Boothe. I have been seeking God and praying for a certain something for my family for so long, but i didn't even know how to ask God for it. I know he tells us to ask specifically for the desires of our hearts. I have taken your prayer and replaced your request with mine. I will pray this prayer until the Father above wills for me to have my desires! Thank You! Thank you! Know that if that post was for noone else, it was for me!

Devon said...

thank you for that. its beautiful. and speaks to the anguish in my own heart....

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing. It is exactly what I needed to hear. I thank you for your courage and your strength.

Michelle said...

That was beautiful. I have written many similar sounding prayers myself. I believe in being 100% honest with God. I am also praying for everyone to be encouraged who reads your words. In my case, I now have 4 children, and a sense of completeness about that; but it did not come easily, as quickly as I wanted, or cheap. Life is hard, so, so hard, but the lessons learned are priceless, and God is so, so good.
Thank you.

Faith said...

Thank you. If that was for no one else, it was for me. Thank you for following the Lords leading and sharing from your heart. I needed to hear this!

Anonymous said...

Thank you Boothe. Yesterday I had my hardest day yet in this path of infertility. God's timing is amazing. Thanks for your willingness to share your heart. I am encouraged.

The Covill Clan said...

Boothe, you dont know me..but some how through the blog world, I came across your story back when you were pregnant with copeland. My cousin's blog made reference to your story, and since then i have been an avid reader. Your blog today spoke to me in a way I cant even explain. Yes, the Lord did compel you to write your prayer....

I got pregnant with my son at 18, and married his dad 4 years later, when he was 3. We tried for a baby for three months then got pregnant. I was ecstatic because I really did not want them to be more than 4 years apart. Well, I just found out two days ago (at 10 weeks along) that I miscarried. We were crushed. It seemed so surreal to me that God gave me a child when I least expected it, but now when I wanted one so badly this happened.

As I told my mom, as the days pass on, I have this strange peace about the whole situation. I am confident that God will bless us with another child, and who cares if they are 5 years apart.

Thank-you Boothe....your prayer spoke volumes in my heart. I have been asking God for a sign that he was listening, and you just delivered. I am so thankful.
you can read our blog (though it does not have much since it was just started for the baby) covillclan.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

God's timing is perfect. I spent yesterday afternoon crying on and off over the anguish infertility has begun to cause in me. I found myself crying again as I read your blog today. But out of joy. We are waiting to be blessed with a child and after over a year I feel so empty sometimes. I told my mother yesterday that I couldn't even explain how I was feeling anymore. There were no words and I wasn't even sure what to say to the Lord. I felt forgotten. You have lifted me up at just the right moment. You have no idea what your prayer has done for me. I now have words I couldn't find on my own to use to speak to Him. I found your blog after my niece was diagnosed with Trisomy 13. Your words have been a blessing before and continue to be today. Thank you!!!

The Hager Happenings said...

Boothe, I don't think I have ever left a comment, but I read often. I have a friend who needs to read this. She and her husband are Christians. They have suffered the loss of 8 babies. She still has yet to experience a pregnancy past 10 weeks! I know that this would encourage her! I am passing your blog along so that she can read it. Thanks for following God's leading! I know that it will be a blessing to many.

Love,

Amy Hager in Michigan

Amie said...

Booth- Thank you so much for this post. My heart aches for another baby, so very badly.
I appreciate your obedience & prayers.
I am so thankful for my sweet blessing that I have in this world & am thankful for your sweetie too.

AmandaHoyt said...

Boothe,
I have prayed that almost exact prayer a million (if not more) times. Thank you so much for listening to the Lord and for posting this. It means so much to me to see what my heart feels - written out. I can't remember if I've ever commented or not, but I want you to know that you have encouraged me.
Thank you.
Hugs and prayers,
Amanda

Shawn and Mir said...

Thank you again Boothe for your words and prayer. It is so encouraging to be a part of the body of Christ and know that there are souls praying for me that have never met me! We continue to pray and wait for God to bless us with a child. You put words to feelings I couldn't describe, so thank you for that. I am confident that one day I will share the blessed news that we will be having a baby. Just pray that I can be at peace in Christ til that day comes.

sumi said...

You know, I secretly pray for a miracle.

Jenna was our fourth child, and our first little girl. She taught me to love pink and relish in everything girly. Her brothers doted on her.

Then, on a lovely summer's day on the other side of the Atlantic ocean, the day before we were to fly back home, Jenna abruptly left us, without a goodbye.

I did not only lose Jenna. I lost my only girl. I long for pink in my laundry again, to do something absolutely 'girly' with a little princess who gazes up at me with absolute adoration in her eyes. (Yeah, I know that all changes when they hit teenagedom, but when Jenna was 3, that is what we had.)I long to see a little girl become a young woman and turn into one of my best friends.

Since all my children were born by c-section, and we thought our family was complete, I had my tubes tied during Jenna's birth.

Ironically, I am faced with a baby boom of sorts amongst my friends - and all of them (even my bloggy friends) are having little girls.

It makes me sigh. It makes me wish. Sometimes, it makes me weep.

Despite this, there's peace. Who knows what God has prepared down the road for us? I might never have another little girl to call my own again. I will try to be content in whatever happens. There has been much blessing that has flowed from my pain, strangely enough.

But a miracle would be awfully, awfully nice.

KrazyMom said...

You have spoken directly to my heart tonight. Our adoption journey seems to be such a long wait, though we know to trust in His timing!

Thank you so, so much for sharing your prayer!!

erynn said...

Hi Boothe. I know your Aunt, Paula Blanton. Thank you for sharing your prayer. We've experienced infertility for a year now and it is always encouraging to read the words of someone who knows the heartache. I am so glad you have shared your journey.

Karen said...

I read this post the day after I found out I wasn't pregnant, following two miscarriages last year. Very needed. (But I have three blessings with me already!)

I saw your picture in the Green Hills News!! Beautiful!

Anonymous said...

What a blessing you are - I live in New Zealand and have been reading your blog from the very beginning. Your strength and grace through Copeland's birth and loss have been so amazing and encouraging. I've been trying for over three years now for a very much-wanted first baby, but nothing. However, God has sustained me and I have felt the same sense of his presence that you clearly do. As it says in Jeremiah; "Behold I am the Lord, is anything too hard for me?" No indeed, our God is an awesome God! Bless you.

kaci said...

i am so thrilled to hear of your sweet blessing emerette. what a gift from god. i am so encouraged by your words, they lift my spirits and pull at my heart strings each time i read what you have written. may your sweet family continued to be blessed!

Anonymous said...

exactly what i needed to hear. thank you, thank you for sharing. i know the Lord will bless us with the desires of our hearts we just have to keep pressing on knowing that in his time a sweet baby will come to be...
thanks for sharing all that you do! i think you need to write a book =) you are very talented when it comes to writing!!

Beka said...

Dear sister in Christ,

All I can say is thank you for sharing this. Through your words, the Lord has brought encouragement to my quavering heart today. This is indeed a searing and sorrowful road to walk, but I believe my Father who says that joy will come in the morning... even if if not here on earth, it will come some day in Heaven.

Thank you, dear one. Your story is amazing-- such a powerful testimony.

May God bless you.

Judy said...

God has gifted you with the gift of words and encouragement for others. I could have written that prayer but never so eloquently. I yearned for 9 years for another "living" child to be a sibling for my one and only daughter.
God is good. He answers prayers. I now have a precious little boy.

beth ewing said...

i can completely relate to this. my son is 2.5 and we've been trying for almost 2 years. we also suffered a miscarriage in November. i've prayed that prayer too many times to count.

dr_bristow said...

Thank you. I knew what you wrote would speak to me as soon as I started reading you post last week, but was afraid to read it, so today is the first time I have come back and been able to read the whole post. Yes, that is the desire of my heart.

The Schadooley Hometeam said...

You let God speak to my heart while reading this post. Thank you so very much. God hears us. We just need to stop, be patient and listen for that still, small, glorious voice. May God continue to bless you and yours.

Shelby said...

Thank you so much for these words. A friend of mine sent me your blog today, and this is exactly what I need to hear and what my prayer is to the Lord right now. Thank you.

sjefferson said...

Boothe, I don't know you but I have followed your blog for a while now. I am certain my sweet Father in heaven prompted you to write that for me to read tonight..and I have been blessed. I am nearing 20 months of infertility. Some of the longest, hardest months of my life. I am seeking, often begging, my God for His favor in the blessing of a child. You spoke the very words and cries of my own heart! Thank you for your obedience. I am rejoicing with you over the birth of your sweet baby! Our God is good, even in the hard times!

Zachariah said...

The guy is totally just, and there is no skepticism.
folding gate | san francisco web designer | outdoor wedding venues chicago | gold chain | wedding packages in maui

Laurence said...

This cannot have effect in fact, that is what I believe.
canned salmon | picture converter | how to lose weight fast

Philip said...

Quite useful info, much thanks for the post.
download game pc gratis | gametop | free for gamers | download games | games full download