Sunday, July 22, 2007

from the non-writer in the family

So this is my first post on the blog. I cannot tell you how proud I am of my sweet wife. I will not be able to express it in typed words either because it only takes me about 30 minutes per paragraph. But as you have read in this blog - God has shown his face upon us, and if that is all I could say in this post, then that is enough. God has shown me new things through my wife, Sellers, and my precious unborn baby girl that I could never imagine - his goodness is evident in our lives always. This is not what I pictured for my life to look like at 28, but I am thankful and honored that God would challenge my family in this way. I believe He does not give us anything we are unable to handle - and I believe he is truly preparing our family to serve him well.
I have struggled what to pray for...I don't even know how to pray most of the time. But I do know that I want to hold my child, I want to kiss her and smell her - even if only for 45 minutes. I want her to feel loved by her Dad, because as is so evident in this post of mine, I cannot write well nor speak in beautiful language...but I can tell her that I love her, and that her Father in heaven loves her more and I have peace in that. I choose to imagine Copeland in Boothe's stomach as a fighter with clenched fists - those fists that for some reason will not open up because of this disorder. I am proud of this little unborn girl, I am proud that she will probably impact more lives in her short time here on earth than I ever will, and I have peace in that.
Thank you for your prayers - thank you for your friendship and thank you for sharing faith in the same God who gives and takes away. Rest in the knowledge that he is giving in this instance... I believe that with all of my heart. Copeland's life is not in vain - she is and always will be my second daughter. I have always been a dreamer, and right now I am thankful for that. I dream about her in heaven, as beautiful as her Mom and sister. I dream about her joining in the chorus and I am proud of her. Any of you who know me, know that I love music -it is a soundtrack to my life. Everytime I think about Copeland, I think about the score from "Pride and Prejudice" by Dario Marianelli. It is sweeping and epic with moments of grandeur and perfect quiet. I think she will like this score; Sellers does - I think I am going to bring it when she is born...
I feel as though I am rambling, and I don't think that Blogspot has spellcheck, which kind of stinks....please do not judge me. Thanks for indulging me on this one, and know I am grateful for you. Know that I love my wife and my daughters, and know that God is teaching me to love him more than ever. I am grateful to be called His child.

Conor

14 comments:

whitney burrough akin said...

Conor-
Don't kid yourself. You can write with the best of them too. I love this insight into your heart. Will and I are praying for you and your great family. What a beautiful and true concept: that Copeland is and will conitnue to affect more and more people. His hands are big and far reaching. I know the Lord is so pleased with your dreams for your daughter and your trust in His big picture.
Much Love,
Whitney and Will

Laurie said...

Hi Conor, I am new to your site, coming from Mandy and Brian. Your post is beautiful, coming straight from the heart of a father who loves the three ladies in his life. Messages of love and hope from the heart come straight through from the Lord. I am praying for you,Booth,Sellers and Copeland. We serve a Big God, and nothing happens here that does not first have His attention. I believe in miracles and am asking Him for one for your family. If possible, even bigger than the dreams in your heart that are so precious and real right now. He will continue to direct your path. He is the great physician and knows your future. Your faith is very precious, wrap it around you and your ladies and let it guide you through. ~*~Love and Many Prayers from California this morning~*~ Laurel

Marie Lanathoua said...

Beautiful, and full of love your words, I stumbled on to your site last week, and I have saved it so I can see what miracle will happen. I remember prayers from my dear friends for their son James to heal, the acronym was PGHJ "Pray God Heals James"; the morning he passed an email went out...that God has healed James, that is when it finally hit me....he was healed in our Lord's arms....an angel in heaven. What ever miracle is to happen it is his hands and your faith which is strong will get you through it. I pray for you and your family. All my love from a friend in California~~*~~~

teresa k. said...

Conor,
You are a great writer! Opening your heart and sharing your thoughts have me crying. You are a great Dad & husband. Boothe, Sellers and Copeland feel that love and your strength. We are praying. We love you.

Anonymous said...

We are still praying for you all and think of you often. Please call when you need or want to talk. God Bless all 4 of you.

Mandy Hopkins
GA
www.madelinegracehopkins.blogspot.com

bat4ut said...

Conor-
Are you kidding? That was one of the most beautiful things I've read....ever. Your spelling was not too bad and you are a slow typer. God is faithful and has you in His hands. That was just sweet!

Wendy said...

Your amazing heart rings thru clear as a bell. Your love for your family and God is a pure and wonderful thing. Most men would never have opened up theri emotions to a world of strangers. You are a man among men. All of you are in our prayers.

Peter Lee said...

Conor,
It is the most courageous and loving letter which I'm honored to have read in all years of my life. You are an incredible man who I am proud to know. Katherine and I are praying for Boothe, Sellers, Copeland and you. Our God provides hope, mercy, peace and love to endure. Walking through this with you, I hope to encourage you but what I find is encouragement from you. All blessings and prayers to you and your family. Thanks for being God's vessel. Love, Peter Lee

Chels said...

Connie, you make me proud to call you my brother and blessed to be your sister. Copeland is doing exactly what the Lord desires for us to do : bring Glory to Him. She is transforming lives all over the world and I know He will continue to use her and her life in those phenominal ways. You are a blessed man. We are a blessed family

i love you and sis and selly

simonsays said...

Goodness gracious! I'm as blessed by the sweet comments as I am by the beautifully written blog! There is no question that you guys are surrounded by love. Conor, it was great to hear your heart through these words. Thanks for sharing with us.

Julie

Anonymous said...

Hi Conor, I'm a friend of the Cone's and have been praying for your family for some time now. Your post was a beautiful expression of a father's love for his family and deep devotion to his God. My heart was touched to read the words you wrote. Even through all this you know that God is in control and that His grace and strength are sufficient. What an incredibly powerful testimony! May God bless your family in ways that you never imagined! My family and I pray for each of your family daily! May the God of grace and peace be with you!

- Carla Breland

Paula said...

Conor,

Your words inspire all of us to be who God would want us to be. Your trust in Him is evident, and your love for your family honors Him in every way.

We who share this journey with you are so blessed. You can see the ripple effect clearly, and His arms gently holding all of you close.

Praising God for you, Boothe, Sellers and Copeland, and continuing to lift you all up to Him, our Strength and Comfort.

Paula

RANDIB said...

I am very touched by your family. My husband and I pray with our 11 month old sons each night and will continue to pray for all 4 of you.
Randi

JUST A MOM said...

CONOR that my dear was beautiful!!!! I felt your every word in my heart... I pray for your family and can only feel your words never your pain. I am sorry I am late reading this but it is so worth stopping. I do talk and think of your often may you continue in God's Grace.