Wednesday, September 26, 2007

update

I went to work for a bit today to try and catch up on some things and while sitting in a meeting, Boothe's aunt called to tell me I needed to come home because things looked bad. We took Copeland with us this morning to the doctor's office where Boothe had some follow-up done (for the c-section). Copeland seemed to do well through all of that, her color stayed relatively pink. But over the course of the day, we are definitely noticing her weakening. We have known it all along, but the physical reality that she is going to be leaving us soon is hitting home with each passing hour.

These are some of the things I never knew we'd have to deal with. Going back to "normal" life, in some ways, and trying to remain as routine as possible, while my daughter is literally on the brink of death. And not knowing how long that process will take.

Please continue to pray for our family. Pray that I will love Boothe and my girls well. And please pray that the Lord wil postpone the hour of Copeland's death until I can get home, if, in fact, I happen to be away. I want to balance working with being here with the girls. I feel compelled to provide as the spiritual leader in our family, and sometimes it is tough to even begin to know how to do it during this season.

We're still touch and go... we will continue to keep you updated.

Conor

103 comments:

Anonymous said...

Still praying for y'all in North Carolina.

Amanda said...

Praying for you!!

Anonymous said...

Boothe and your girls need you. You will be taken care of financially. I am continuing to pray. Spent these last precious moments together as the foursome you've prayed so faithfully for. God will provide.

Anonymous said...

Praying for your strength in West TN.

erika said...

Praying for your precious family. Thank you for your honesty Conor. God will provide for you!

Your Indiana Prayer Chain said...

my head lowered praying for all of you.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for updating. I know so many of us are checking so frequently. Still praying hard...

Kate said...

praying...

Julie said...

More and More Prayers...Rosie Cheeks! Julie in VA

Anonymous said...

Praying for You, Conor! You will provide what is needed for your girls. Stay strong for them. Lean on The Father...

Christy said...

thank you for updating us! I am praying for you still.

Devin said...

Yes, God will provide. Go be with your family. You are a wonderfull husband and Daddy.

Marni New (Lunsford) said...

Conor-
How lucky your girls (all 3 of them) are to have you in their lives! Know that prayers are being offered up for yall every second of the day. I'm reminded of the 2nd verse of the old hymn 'Because He Lives'

How sweet to hold a newborn baby
And feel the pride and joy she gives;
But greater still the calm assurance:
This child can face uncertain days because God lives!

Because He lives I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living just because He lives.

We love you guys,
Marni

Melissa Platt said...

just in case you are getting overlooked in all of this...Conor, you are an amazing husband and father. the ways in which you are loving, supporting and providing for your family are inspiring. praying that the Lord will honor your requests. blessings to ALL of you!

Kelly in Texas said...

Many continued prayers for your family.

Anonymous said...

Conor we are praying for you. Praying for your strength. Your girls need you, but you too will need to grieve. God will provide; be with your family now, in peace. This will be the toughest time ever on your marriage; focus on your family and let God provide. Bless you all.

David Crandall said...

I want you to know that I've been praying for you for months as a husband and a father. I continue to ask that you would be able to be the spiritual leader to your family. Your family's faith in God has been overwhelmingly amazing.

Remember, faith doesn't mean we're happy with how God has allowed things to go, it just means that we choose to believe He is still in control.

I pray that your family feels God presence strongly.

Anonymous said...

thanks for the update conor. we are praying for your strength as the head of the family and know that you are doing a wonderful job. you have always put your girls first. we pray that the Lord will be gracious when he takes copeland home and allow her family, especially you and boothe, to both be there. we pray continued peace for each of you. we love y'all and are constantly lifting you up in prayer.
courtney and kyle

Anonymous said...

Praying for strength for all of you.

Zabkas

Anonymous said...

Praying for strength for all of you.

Zabkas

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the update Conor and for letting us know how we can pray for you specifically. Hopefully you will feel the peace that comes with many, many prayers lifted up for you and your family.

Anonymous said...

Conor: I'm sure your boss understands, or at least is sympathetic. God will provide. I will pray specifically for you to have comfort regarding your job, your responsibilities, and your place during this time. I will also pray for your co-workers: that they will stand in the gap for you with your job.

God is forever faithful in all ways.

A Place For Ministry Wives said...

I love and appreciate your honesty and transparency so much. I will pray.

Anonymous said...

Praying for you in Flower Mound, TX.

Mc Allen said...

I sit here replying w/ tears streaming down my face. We are still here, & praying... Thank you very much for the update, it is very gracious! Praying in Owasso Oklahama

Rebecca said...

Still praying...

Eleanor Willis said...

It is amazing to see a man understand his role in the family... to provide in all areas of life. I commend you and say keep on keeping on. Trust the Lord to provide as well. "How much more our Heavenly Father..."

Always Praying

JUST A MOM said...

STILL thinking of you always,,, you are now in all of our daily lives.

Cindy D said...

Even as I refresh the page the comments keep pouring in. You guys have such a huge amount of people praying for you all. People that don't even know you. You are truly blessed. I'm sure if Copeland could talk she would say that she is the luckiest little girl on earth to have been blessed with family such as yours.

Anonymous said...

Found this blog on a sorority sister's Facebook profile last week and have been keeping up since. Your words and your faith are a testiment of God. Thank you for sharing. Your beautiful family is in my constant thoughts and prayers!

Anonymous said...

Conor, Go and be with your family. Forget about the financial stuff right now. God will provide for you and your family; he will provide it all. Give your worries and anxieties to the Lord and go and love on your girls. They need you at home.

Why don't y'all set up an account and let your friends and family donate in Copeland's honor.

We would all be so happy to give to your family but just don't know how to bring it up. The ones that love you and your girls would really do anything they could to make Copeland's journey easier, more joyful and peaceful. And, having Daddy home makes Mama happy and when Mama is happy, everyone is happy including your sweet little Sellars and Copeland.

erin said...

i agree with anonymous above, your finances will be taken care of, enjoy these moments you have with them ~ i am praying for guidance and wisdom for you, thank you for sharing your life with all of us

Anonymous said...

praying...

Suzy Goodman said...

Conor, you have shown over and over again that you are a wonderful husband, father and spiritual leader to your family. The Lord knows all of your needs, financially and otherwise. Trust in Him as you care for Boothe and the girls and let Him take care of you as well.

Continuing to pray for all of you.

Tonya said...

praying for you in Alabama!

-tonya
www.thereisaseason.net

Anonymous said...

Conor, you are doing a tremendous job being an amazing father and husband! Stay strong, the Lord will see you all through this. This has to be the most difficult thing you have ever had to go through, we are all lifting you and your sweet family up!

The Lord will provide you everything and anything you need! What a Godly husband and Father you are...all your girls are lucky to have you!

Diane said...

I am praying for you also!!!

From St. Joseph, MI

Mandy said...

Conor,
I continue to pray for you and your family, especially little Copeland. I know you must feel so helpless even though you are doing all you can. Know that you are being lifted up, even as you read this.

Mandy
GA
www.madelinegracehopkins.blogspot.com

Household6 said...

Go home and be with your family. You may never forgive yourself if you miss the moment Copeland goes home, plus your wife needs you now more then ever. If you are like my husband focusing on this is probably your way to grieve, which I understand but go home....

Praying for you though we've never met.

Anonymous said...

We continue to pray God's grace and sufficiency to all of you, all the time. Deb Bailey

Kathy said...

Dear Conor my heart goes out to you. You sound so torn. Believe me you ARE being such a good dad, husband, provider, and spirtitual leader. Your sweet wife has made that perfectly clear.

What I am feeling led by the Lord to speak to you about is that Copeland is such an amazing little fighter. Of course only the Lord knows how long you will have her but then none of us knows the hour He will call us home. It sounds as if no one has offered you any hope yet we serve a God of Hope. Perhaps little Copeland might need a few comfort measures to help her in her struggle for life. Giving her oxygen could greatly make her more comfortable and affect her being able to eat, sleep and in regulating her little heart. The fact that she is eating is a miracle. The fact that she is still here with all her struggles is miraculous.

I am sure that the Hospice nurses would be happy to tell you about the comfort measures available to you for your precious daughter. They would not prolong her life but should the Lord's plan be for her to be with your family for a while, however long that might be, she would be comforted physically.
You could have a breathing monitor so that no one would physically have to be with her each moment, the monitor alarm would summon you if needed.

I say this all with the utmost respect and concern for you all. The Lord has taught me to pray without ceasing through your family. He summons me to pray at all times during the day and night. So many others have said the same. God has moved untold numbers of people to pray for your family and Copeland. He truly is using your family to advance His kingdom. Please Conor consider what is easily available to Copeland and your family besides all the amazing love you have offered her which is, of course, the most important.
In Christ's love,
Kathy

Anonymous said...

Conor,

Please know that you are such an inspiration adn that God is using as a great example of wonderful father and provider. Please know that I continue to pray......

With love from KY

Erin W said...

"Beautiful are the feet of him who bring good news." Strange that this verse crossed my mind as I read your post, as it does not seem to be good news. It is tragic, sad, heart-wrenching news, in fact. Yet in the midst of this, each and every post that you and your precious wife writes is filled with a declaration of the glory of God. Praise Him for using you and little Copeland to declare Himself. I don't know you, yet I am compelled to check your site every hour for updates. One reason for this is how inspired I am each time as I read of your faith and vulnerability. But even more, it is to learn more specifically of how to lift you and your family up in prayer. My heart breaks for you. Yesterday I prayed for you to experience joy. Today I do not pray for that. I pray that you would feel okay with any emotion that you feel. You are okay to grieve. You are okay to be angry. This is real. While Jesus rejoices in what He is accomplishing through this experience, and he looks forward to welcoming Copeland home, He also weeps for you, and is walking with you during this time.

teresa said...

Bless your heart. You and your family continue in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Conor, stay with your family now...they need you. Our Lord and Savior will provide for you in your time of need. Your family needs you, your beautiful wife and precious girls. You are an AWESOME husband and Daddy, don't ever forget that....or doubt it one second. Hang in there, the Lord will take care of you. Much love and stay strong!!!

Lyric said...

Praying, tearfully. The delicate balance, the fragility of life, that you remain focused and centered is a testimony of your love for Him and "your girls".

He remains Emmanuel.

Anonymous said...

Lifting the Farleys in prayer from Jackson, MS

Sun said...

oh bless your heart - we are praying! Sunshine

Rachel said...

Still praying for strength and peace for you and your family...

Emily said...

I cannot even begin to understand what you are going through, but you've been in my thoughts and prayers the last few days. You are an unbelievably strong family and your faith throughout all of this is touching me and I'm sure will continue to touch others for a long time. May the Lord bestow his grace upon through all of this. God bless you all.

Emily (from the Northwest)

Ryan said...

You're all in our prayers.

Kiki@Seagulls in the Parking Lot said...

praying for all of you

Anonymous said...

Praying that you will have strength and wisdom during this trying time.

Anonymous said...

I just heard your story through Patience Leino the other day. I wanted you guys to know that I have taken to thinking about Copeland as much as I prayed for Isaac during his journey. Please know I am praying for you both as well as your very adorable girls.

Ashley Jacobson said...

Conor, you are a good man, and are clearly doing your job as the spiritual leader in your home. You have a strong and amazing wife in Boothe...that is evident in all her posts. I feel like I know you both now, and little Sellers too, and I check on you frequently throughout my days. I will continue to pray for you all, and especially that you can join your wife and precious Copeland when it is her time to return to the Lord. Your family is a shining example of how we should live our lives as Christians. Just reading your words sends me running to hold my husband and two boys. The fragility of life is a terrifying reality. Know that Copeland's life has impacted so many people in such a positive way. She is truly a blessinng.

Darby Stickler said...

Conor,
You remind me of what I imagine any God-fearing husband & father would feel at this time. I confess I haven't prayed for you the way I should. You are the head of this precious household, such an amazing and huge responsibility! Thank you for your honesty, I feel better equipped to pray for you! Thank you for the update! Praying in Dothan!

Linds said...

Still praying here in England too

Anonymous said...

My guess is that you have many people close to you who are more than willing to help you shoulder the load. Please rely on them and gain strength from their generosity. Yes, you are the head of the household and spiritual leader, but that does not mean you can't lean on others in your time of need.
Blessings and prayers continue for you and your precious family.

Ann V.@HolyExperience said...

Praying hourly.
You are upheld before His throne.
He carries you.
Hang on.

Aunt Barbara said...

Connor and Boothe,
When my daughter Cheri Kaufman told me of your situation with your baby girl my heart ached for you beyond words. As a mother of three and a grandmother of 8 I know it has to be the hardest thing you have ever been through. I can't begin to imagine what you are going through. When I read your words I am amazed at the peace you seem to have while you wait for Gods will to be done. Copeland is a BEAUTIFUL LITTLE ANGEL. God makes no mistakes and only he knows what his will for Copeland will be. Her story alone has touched so many lives. I know it has touched mine in a way I nerver knew anything could. I am continuing to pray for her body to heal and that each day will be easier for her. Keep the faith and continue as you are doing to let God have his way in yours and Copelands life. I have been praying constantly since Cheri told me about it all. I pray that your faith will stay strong and having these precious days with little Copeland will help. God Bless each and everyone of you. Love in Christ, Barbara Gray in Oklahoma

Anonymous said...

Conor,

Boothe must be the proudest wife to have such an amazing husband, father, provider and best friend in you. Your daughter's are loved by you in only the way a father can love his daughter's, and even if they don't know what it feels like to be proud, I'm sure they still know they have one super duper daddy.

Sometime's I wish we could actually feel a hug from God; that perhaps it would make all of life's challenges be less challenging, and the blessings be more joyous. But sometimes I think that's what smiles are for, kind words from friends and those we don't know - God's hugs are all the good things His people does.

So here's praying you feel "hugged" and know how much you are being prayed for, by so many people. I'll be praying for your strength, your peace, and that you take all the time you can to be with your family. Because once time is gone, you can't get it back. You will be more than taken care of! Blessings and peace to you!

Cheb said...

What STRONG women/girls you surround yourself with, Connor!! From your beautiful wife who can smile her beautiful smile through all the complexities of life that have come upon you; To the stunning little Sellers, whose pride at being a BIG sister is so evident in every picture; To the fragile yet Goliath-like little fighter, Copeland ....

Yes, you will need to be strong FOR them... But consider too, the strength you draw FROM them!! You are all there FOR EACH OTHER --alternatively holding each other UP, as well as drawing strength FROM them...

You are an AMAZING family!! You have INSPIRED us all in blogland, to be BETTER people... To draw our loved ones CLOSER to us... To treasure EACH day as the true GIFT that it is!!

May you feel the love that is felt for you ALL OVER THE WORLD!! May our constant whispered prayers echo from the clouds and bring you the strength that you need! May God hold you all in the palm of His mighty hands...

Loving you all, in Tulsa, OK

Anonymous said...

WE are praying you in Auburn, Alabama. God will give you the strenghth to face each moment. His grace is sufficient,especially when we are so weak!

the brown's said...

on my knees for you right now...T

Peach said...

Praying for all of you as you watch and wait. The Lord is sovereign over your each and every moment.

Melanie said...

Still praying

Anonymous said...

No answers or questions for you...just prayers.

Susan said...

Praying for you all in Western North Carolina. Thank you for allowing us to walk through this time with you...the joy and the sorrow so tightly woven together.

I pray that in this walk of faith in darkness that you will find the treasures that God has for you.

I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name. Isaiah 45:3

Anonymous said...

Conor,
I continue to check ya'lls blog several times a day. Just this morning I asked Blake and Brad to specifically pray for you in a special way. Your love and desire to protect your girls is a beautiful example to Christian men. Give those girls a hug and kiss from me.
Betsy P

Anonymous said...

Thinking of your family often & sending you thoughts & prayers from Chicago.

Eliza in Savannah, GA said...

Can't get you off my heart and mind... interceding for you all!

Love, Eliza
Savannah, Georgia

Eliza in Savannah, GA said...

Can't get you off my heart and mind... interceding for you all!

Love, Eliza
Savannah, Georgia

LWB said...

Praying for strength this very moment

It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights.
-2 Samuel 22:33-34

Laurie Wunder Bolden

Anonymous said...

Your faith and attitude is so inspiring. Yor family is in our prayers even though we've never met. God placed little Copeland here for a reason and she is already touching so many lives! We are praying for your strength and for God to take care of little Copeland.

grits404 said...

praying for you each...

Mary Alice said...

Dear, sweet Conor,

I feel like folks are being so hard on you because you went to work today! Perhaps you just needed to "be normal" again for a little while, as I believe anyone in your shoes would need. Of course, I have had the opportunity to see firsthand how involved you are in the lives of your family. You never missed a "Mommy's lunch" or a holiday party at school last year and it is obvious that your work comes third after your faith and your family.

No doubt, you and Boothe will have to make decisions about when and how often you return to work while Copeland is still with you. Those decisions belong to you, as you will make them prayerfully, as you have made every other decision regarding sweet Copeland.

Certainly, God will provide your every need, finances included. But I also know that none of knows what it is like to walk in your shoes as the spiritual leader and financial provider of your family. You are a tremendous man of God, deeply loved by your wife and children and I pray that you will feel loved and supported. I also continue to pray God's richest blessings for you and your beautiful girls!

Anonymous said...

Conor, you and Boothe will never be the same after this battle. God is molding you for His glorious purpose in a loving way. We'll lift you up in prayers for this very unique wilderness course that He has designed for you and Boothe... together!
Love,
Phemie

Anonymous said...

Conor,
I've shared your story with so many people today and the main thing that comes out each conversation is God's faithfulness!You and Boothe are being held up by so many.We are Praying in Sylacauga!Praying,praying,praying......

Sara said...

You are lifted up in prayer by many. God is faithful and will supply all your needs - enjoy this special time with your family.
You are surrounded my prayers.

whitney burrough akin said...

Conor,
Praying specifically for you too in all of this! He will be your Guide, all the way through the end of this and to the end of the age.

much love,

whitney

Chels said...

I love you Conie. There is nothing in the world that I wouldn't give to be able to be there with y'all. Trying to make it easier on you as much as possible. I just looked at ticket prices and its too expensive for Heath and I to try and come this weekend - even too expensive just for me. I wish he could meet her, but more than anything, I wish we were there to hug you and tell you how much we love you. Psalms 18:30-36 says
30 God’s way is perfect.
All the Lord’s promises prove true.
He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.
31 For who is God except the Lord?
Who but our God is a solid rock?
32 God arms me with strength,
and he makes my way perfect.
33 He makes me as surefooted as a deer,
enabling me to stand on mountain heights.
34 He trains my hands for battle;
he strengthens my arm to draw a bronze bow.
35 You have given me your shield of victory.
Your right hand supports me;
your help has made me great.
36 You have made a wide path for my feet
to keep them from slipping.

Tracy said...

My family doesn't know your family...I found your blog on a prayer list. Know that we are praying for you. As a hospice chaplain, your story has given me new insight and for that I thank you. As a mom, you have given me pause and lead me to thank God for every day as I hug my little girl. Peace and prayers be with you.

Tracy
Indianapolis IN

Laurie said...

Dear Conor,
Your hearts desire is to know how to be the spiritual leader of your family. Trust God to lead you and teach you during this season that most people will never experience. The Lord trusted in you and Boothe to bless Copeland with you as her parents. Since He did not provide an instruction manual for this time, He plans on walking with you and teaching you moment by moment during this time. He knows what you need before you even think it. You can trust Him to not leave nor forsake you. He has trusted you with a HUGE responsibility, and does not expect you to know how to do it without Him. He knows how much you love all of your girls and He will carry you through when you cannot walk. He will direct your path. You are a man that He is proud of and glad to call His son.
Praying without ceasing for you all today and always.
Laurie in Ca.

Brenda said...

You are not alone. I am checking your blog all the time to see the updates. We are praying for you in Memphis that your daughter will be taken silently and soon to the Lord. And we pray for your peace and strength and healing for your family.

Laurel Wreath said...

Been praying for you all day. I came across a quote from John Piper that I thought I would share. After some real rough times of losing his mother to an accident and just this week losing his grandaughter in one of his books he said:

"As I knelt by my bed and wept, I never doubted that God was sovereign...and that God was good. I do not need to explain everything. That he reigns and that he loves is enough for now."

Sweet friends just knowing He reigns and He loves you IS ENOUGH RIGHT NOW.

Blessings.

jtcosby said...

Praying hard for all of you!

BooMama said...

Praying for you in Birmingham....

Anonymous said...

Praying for you in southern Louisiana! I just found your site yesterday, but the Lord has already knit my heart to you and your family. Thank you for sharing this journey with us in such a beautiful and tender way. God's grace will never be depleted!

A sister

Kelsey said...

Jack and Sellers used to be in class together at FPC. I just found out and have been reading your updates. You are a strong family and are dealing with a sadness few of us can relate to. I am praying for you guys and know that all is done through God. You have a tremendous support group which is wonderful. Will continue to pray.

Anonymous said...

praying for your family from roseville california

Cathy said...

Conor, you are so faithful and your intentions are so right. it is ok not to be there every moment and know if it Copelands time then that was Gods plan. There is very much support for you at this time. God Bless your entire family.
Cathy

Anonymous said...

praying...and praying...and praying

Tammy said...

My prayers will continue to be with you and your family.

Anonymous said...

You dont know me, but I heard this song(especially these below) today and your family came to mind after reading this blog. I hope it is an encouragement.

My Savior My God
by Aaron Shust

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior


My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior’s always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

Paulette said...

Darks as the path may seem to others,
We carry a magic light in our hearts. Faith, the spiritual searchlight that guide our weary steps and illuminates our way, although sinister doubts and trials lurk on our days, we will walk in the enchanted woods where the foliage is always green, where our safety is in the Lords care, where we can nest and worship where life and death are one in the presence of the Lord.

I am right here praying constantly for you Boothe and Conor, I am so sorry for your pain in this journey,
I know God is so very proud of you.

Jeanie D said...

Oh sweet friends. Our hearts are breaking with you. You are contantly on our hearts and in our prayers. Jeanie

annie said...

Praying for you in Oklahoma.

{Karla} said...

hugs and prayers to you all.

for strength...
for love...
for peace...
for time...
for comfort...

Blessings,
Karla

Anonymous said...

Praying many times a day for all of you in Tampa, Florida.

simonsays said...

Thank you, Conor! I will send up special prayers for you as the Daddy and the provider. I am so thankful Boothe has you to lean on. I just can't imagine what you, specifically, are going through. Whenever Mark and I talk about it, he just shakes his head and gets a little teary - and I know he's imagining himself in your shoes..........Daddies sure are tender about their girls......

Love, Julie A.

stephanie@{Olive Tree} said...

Please know I have been praying and thinking of your family as you enjoy these days with your girl.

Anonymous said...

You have no idea how this blog has been such an incredible wittness to so many. You are in my prayers.
~Jennifer

MOM said...

The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley if You want me to
Cause I'm not who I was when I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise that You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
Then I'll walk through the fire if You want me too
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me and I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering that Your love put You through
and I will walk through the darkness if You want me too
Cuz when I cross over Jordan , gonna sing , gonna shout
Gona look into Your eyes and see you never let me down
So take me on the pathway that leads me home to you
And I will walk through the valley
if you want me to
Yes, I will walk through the valley, if you want me to.
This song by Ginny Owens has ministered to me on countless occasions. I hope it will whisper peace to your soul.
Sweet dreams...we are praying continually ...even into the night for you dear boothe, Conor and Sellers.
Much Love,
Paige Holloway
Don sends his love as well.