Thursday, September 20, 2007

going on 56 hours

It is 8:45 and we are preparing for another night of mystery with Copeland: it's a total toss-up whether or not she will continue to breathe on her own, whether her heartrate will remain strong, and whether she'll rise above the possibility that both might not happen consistently. She's been quite the fighter today... twice we felt sure we were looking at her in her last moments, but suprisingly she rallied and is now breathing with a bit of a grunting regularity. My mom and mother-in-law have graciously offered to stay here at the hospital with us for some time tonight so that Conor and I can rest a bit. It's torturuous in some ways for me to rest at all, but having had about six hours of sleep since Copeland's birth I realize it's absolutely imperative at this point. Please pray I can find peace as I sleep and not toss and turn in anxiety. It's hard not knowing when her moment will come, but I am trying to rest in the knowledge that God appointed that time long ago. I know she isn't suffering, per se, but watching her struggle to breathe and grow blue at times is simply agonizing; I think for Conor and I both it's hard to believe she's not in any pain. Please pray we can trust the doctors' assessments that all of the transitions her body is making as she continues to progress toward death are natural and somewhat necessary, not painful and worth preventing.

We will continue to keep you updated. We are praying she might make it through the night if for no other reason than to be able to share her last moments with my dad and father-n-law, as well as a few family members who are in town just for Copeland.

Boothe

50 comments:

courtney said...

Praying for peace for you tonight, Boothe and Conor, that you may be able to rest in the arms of the Father. What amazing parents you are to little Copeland, foregoing your own comforts and needs to look at her precious little face. Many continuing prayers for all of you-

Courtney Nelms Ashburn

Stevenson gang said...

Like so many others, I am drawn to check in now on an hourly basis, and was glad to see your new posting before I head up to put my own children to sleep for the night. What a little fighter your little Copeland must be. I will pray for a little rest for you both, the absence of pain for Copeland, and a few more hours for all of you so that you can say goodbye as a family. May God surround you with His love and comfort and peace in these twilight hours.

Anonymous said...

My goodness this girl has guts! I will continue to pray. Sleep well, Boothe.

Anonymous said...

Many prayers and thoughts....God bless you and your precious family.

her said...

I pray by now that you have closed your eyes to sleep Boothe. You need to rest. God will not allow you to miss your sweeties last breaths. I am thankful for your parents who I know ache for your and Conor...Sleep, God is gently caressing you to rest. We will all pray for more time!
Joy,Debi

Anonymous said...

praying for sound sleep for you two, and sweet moments for the grandmothers. Rest assured that you are all being cradled in the hands of our Father, and He will not let you go. So sleep sweet Boothe - so that you can pour back into your little miracle when you awake.

Anonymous said...

Praying for each of you tonite. May you feel the peace of God wrapped around you, comforting you and giving you rest....

Tamara said...

Praying for uninterrupted sleep for both of you. Praying for peace that transcends all understanding and praying for all of you to feel the presence of Christ at all times through this entire time and forever afterwards. Your Faith and love have changed a few things in our house...you are amazing!!!!

Jennifer said...

Praying peaceful sleep for you tonight--may each minute you sleep feel like an hour to your weary bodies!

Anonymous said...

I have never met you, but your sweet, precious family will be in my prayers tonight. Your words have impacted me more than you can ever imagine. Copeland is such a miracle! God be with you all...

Jennifer said...

Praying for rest for you all tonight. I heard of you through my cousin Tara McC, and am in awe of your strength and faith. We are so encouraged that God has given you this long to share with your precious baby girl.

TMB said...

you all have been so prominent in our thoughts and prayers all day, and really for the last several weeks. i pray that you will be able to sleep peacefully tonight, as i know your body needs the rest. i will also continue to pray that Copeland will remain free of ANY pain, and stay comfortable and at peace in the arms of those that love her so much. we love you guys...all 4! n, t and d

Anonymous said...

May the arms of our heavenly father wrap himself around you all tonight, giving you sweet rest and attentiveness when you need it. Her face is in so many's thoughts as we sleep tonight, too. Praying for peace, comfort and strength that only He can give.

Heidi Kellems said...

Prayers going out for your family tonight.

Elizabeth S said...

I will continue to pray for you throughout the night. I pray for rest, even if sleep doesn't come. Find rest in God alone, for your hope comes from him. He is your fortress, you will not be shaken.

Anonymous said...

When my husband and I lay our baby down each night we quote Psalm 4:8,"I will lie down and sleep in peace for you alone,oh Lord,make me dwell in safety". I pray that you,Boothe and Conor, as well as your loved ones will find rest and security in knowing that the Lord has little,precious Copeland wrapped in the safety of His loving arms whether that be here on earth or in His very presence in heaven.
It has been both heart wrenching and purely amazing to share in these intimate hours with you and your little one. Thank you for choosing to allow myself and untold others to peek in on Copeland's life. Your faith in the Lord is inspiring and a reminder that He is so very worthy of our praise!
Amy

Whitney Akin said...

We are still checking in all the time and appreciate your updates. Praying that rest will come easy and that you and Copeland have a peaceful night.
Love to you.

Melissa P. said...

i just can't even imagine. praying that both you and Connor will be able to rest tonight, that the Lord will multiply the moments you are asleep and use it to restore your body and soul. praying that sweet Copeland is free from pain and that you are able to continue to hold on to the Lord's timing of her every breath. blessings to all of you tonight...

LWB said...

What an amazing little person Copeland is! So glad you had another full day with her. Praying for restful sleep for you both and more time with her tomorrow.

Laurie Wunder Bolden

Anonymous said...

Praying for rest for you and continued peace for Copeland. I know you are amazed at her little fighting spirit. I am so proud you are getting this wonderful time with her. Rest easy knowing you are being lifted up in prayer. I will check back soon.

Mandy

Laurie in Ca. said...

Lord, I ask you to give Boothe and Conor your complete rest with peace and no anxious thoughts. Thank you for Copelands grandmas as I know they are blessed to help their own children in any way possible. It must be breaking their hearts to watch Boothe and Conor prepare to let go and give this baby back to you. Bless these two mothers as they keep watch and give them your peace and comfort as they watch their children struggle with all of the emotions they are experiencing, watching your plan unfold. Please give everyone your assurance that Copeland is not in any pain, and give them eyes to look through the struggle and see you right there in her. Guard all of their hearts with your love as your appointed hour draws near, your peace passing all understanding. Fill the room with Joy and Hope Everlasting. Thank you for showing us who you are, and you are good always. Draw us all closer to you through this time. Please be gentle with this family who loves and trusts you. Thank you Lord.

Laurie in Ca.

Anonymous said...

Boothie, I can't even begin to know what to say to you, but I will say that you never cease to amaze me! You're such an inspiration, and I'm so sorry for what you and Conor and all your family are going through, but what an awesome spirit you have. Please know that all the family out here in west texas and beyond are praying so hard for yall. I wish that I could wrap my arms around you right now, so I'm sending them in my prayers too. We love yall so much!

Love,
Marni

Elizabeth said...

You've constantly been in our thoughts and prayers for weeks...and we feel so honored that you're sharing your precious time with Copeland with us. We love you and we'll be praying through the night.
Love, Blake & Elizabeth

joann said...

praying for peace and rest. love to all of you.

Anonymous said...

I find myself checking the blog constantly. Thank you for your faithfulness in keeping us all updated. How unselfish of you in the midst of your pain! I pray that He who never slumbers gives you sweet rest as you lay your burden at His feet. In 56 hours Copeland has rested in the arms of loving parents, grandparents, friends, aunts, and uncles. I'm not sure anyone so young has been shown so much love in such a short period of time. How blessed to have her earthly family and her heavenly Father shower her with such unconditional and overwhelming love.

Bless you this night with peace and rest.
pat ward

JUST A MOM said...

Boothe I am so surprised with what God is doing with Copeland. Oh how sweet it much be and yet scary not knowing when the time will come. I do pray you both get some sleep tonight and that Jesus will wait just a bit longer.


My thoughts are with you, Conor and the rest of your family. May the Lords peace hold you .....

Anonymous said...

Sending prayers for peace and rest for your beautiful family tonight. I don't know you, but it is a sweet gift to be able to share in your families heart-breaking, faith inspiring and God glorifying situation. I can't imagine how incredibly difficult all of this has been for you, but am inspired to see you embracing your grief AND joy as you celebrate the life of your little girl and anticipate her leaving this earth. I'm especially praying for your oldest daughter; that she is able to feel her Heavenly Father's love for both her and her little sister. Know you are being prayed for and lifted up. Peace to your hearts!!!

Anonymous said...

God is surrounding you and your family with love. How special all of you must be to have such a special child in your arms. You are in so many prayers.

Shannon said...

Praying that God will give you a peace that only He can tonight so you can get the rest your body needs. Praying also that Copeland isn't in pain and that she can hang on for a few more hours for you and your family.

Christy Nockels said...

I've checked in all day on sweet baby Copeland - my heart is aching in prayer for you all and I don't even know you.. We have a very dear friend from Houston whose 43 year old daughter is in her last hours, maybe even minutes right now. She's dying of cancer. This week this song from our friend Charlie Hall has been playing in my heart, my mind, my head...like a soundtrack as I've read about little Copeland, your courageous family and also as I hear the news from Texas that Tammy is barely holding on - two precious daughters "on the road to beautiful". Those of us in Christ are all on this journey to "beautiful", but how precious are these moments as two of His own are several steps closer to complete glory... I wish you could hear the melody as you read it - maybe you can find the song someday and you'll see what I mean... Charlie lost his only sister to cancer a few months after recording this song...

I pray the Rest of God over you now. That the presence of God would be thick in your room, covering every moment with your sweet daughter...

"On The Road To Beautiful" by Charlie Hall

I crumble at Your kiss and grace
I'm a weakling in the dust
Teach me how to cling to You
With all my life and all my love...

Father come to me, hold me up 'cause I can barely stand,
My strength is gone and my breath is short, I can't reach out my hands,
But my heart is set on a pilgrimage to heaven's own bright King,
So in faltering or victory I will always sing...

And on the road to beautiful
My seasons always change
But my life is spent on loving You
To know You in Your power and pain...

Father come to me, hold me up 'cause I can barely stand,
My strength is gone and my breath is short, I can't reach out my hands,
But my heart is set on a pilgrimage to heaven's own bright King,
So in faltering or victory I will always sing...

You're my portion in this life
You're my strength now in my fight
And to You I pledge my heart
In the pain and in the dark I'll love You

I'll love You...I'll love You...

Anonymous said...

Boothe and Connor....I am praying for you and have a lit a candle for your sweet family. You have named your little cherub well for she bears the name of a long line of courageous women of faith, and great and honorable men of valor - Copelands all. May Christ and his angels of mercy draw especially near to you in these precious hours. renee_copeland@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blog since Copeland was born, and I am in awe of you and your husband. You guys have such an incredible amount of strength.
I have been checking here as often as possible.
I don't even know you but your family has been in my thoughts all day. I will continue to pray for you.

Laura

Paulette said...

I came by to pray over your family before going to bed tonight. I pray you get some sleep Boothe as it is extra hard emotionally when your body is sleep deprived.
I pray God gives you a peace.
I am praying that your precious Copeland is at peace as well.

Debra Kenney said...

Conor and Boothe,
Praying for rest for you tonight and strength for Copeland. I am so thankful God has given you these 56 plus hours with precious Copeland. May God continue to wrap His arms of love around you and your family.

The Morrisons said...

What a blessing Copeland is! How amazing to see so clearly see how God uses what the world reject for His glory! May God continue to bless you and keep you and to make His face to shine upon you and give you peace.

The Morrison Family (Matt, Ginny, Micah, and Owen)

Julie Adkison said...

I FINALLY have my computer back - after two weeks without it! Betsy has been keeping me updated and my mom has been reading me excerpts from the blog the last couple of days. It is such a blessing that you and Conor are keeping everybody updated - THANK YOU for letting so many of us share this special time with you. The pictures of Copeland are precious. It is so sweet to see pictures of her with her adoring family!

We love you guys and are thinking about you and praying for you constantly.....

Julie, Mark and Sydney

Anonymous said...

Praying for peaceful rest tonight. May He strengthen you in every way. Bless you for sharing this bittersweet journey with all of us. Please know there are so many praying for your precious family.

dutchroo said...

Our God is strong, and He is good. We are lifting you up before Him now. May he fill you with hope and peace.

Anonymous said...

May you all be at rest. I pray that your sweet angel will still be there with you in the morning. To share another day in the arms of her parents. Your trust in the Father is amazing. Your love and encouragement to one another is encouraging. We are praying for you in Wisconsin. I lift you and your sweet girl up to the Heavenly Father, as he patiently waits to call her home.

Karla Porter Archer said...

praying for a peaceful rest for you all.

blessings,
Karla

JUST A MOM said...

I have looked this thing up and oh my what this baby COULD SURPASS!!! prayers.....

Donetta said...

Standing with you and for you.

Britt said...

Praying that God will have his hands on Copeland tonight, and praying that in knowing this you will get some peaceful rest. Thinking of you and your precious baby girl constantly and sending many prayers your way.
Brittany Dryden

Anonymous said...

I am praying that the Lord give you strength and rest. That He quites you with his love and rejoices over you with his song. I believe his song for you is Copeland. Your story is an amazing story and our God is even more amazing. I have a cousin who is 3 now and was never expected to be born alive, breathe on his own, have any sort of motory skills. He can do them all, he still needs great assistance, but he is alive. I am not trying to present false hope, but hope none the less. It sounds as though Copeland is a fighter. I am praying that she continues the good fight of faith throughout the evening. (I am friends with Chelsea & Heath).

Anonymous said...

I don't know you. But your story has touched my heart. Lesley Ann sent an email asking prayer for you and your precious family. Right now, I pray that you are sleeping peacefully & sound! In the days ahead, I pray for cherished moments with the family, peace & comfort during the uncertainties, & increased faith to forge through the days ahead. God is with you- and will carry you when you think you can go no further. May God bless you & keep you!

Anonymous said...

Divine.

Emily said...

Lifting you up and checking on you all day....

Anonymous said...

Praying for you that you had a restful sleep.

Angie said...

I woke up in the night several times with each of you on my heart. I pray it was a restful and peaceful night.

Whitney Akin said...

hope that you guys had a peaceful and good night. still praying for all of you.