peter

I woke this morning with an old Amy Grant song in my mind. I've heard it literally countless times... the words are so engrained in my memory that I don't think reciting them in my sleep would be an issue for me. But this morning, they had a relevance and almost a power that I hadn't ever experienced. The song is called "Angels," and it describes Peter's trial in Acts 12 when he is thrown into prison by King Herod. I often wake up with random songs stuck in my head (usually something I heard on the radio the day before, and usually a total annoyance), but I genuinely felt like this was from the Lord. He knows that this song is familiar to me - it carries with it almost a balm for my soul, a reminder of childhood and innocence and a belief that was totally untainted by shattered expectations or sorrow. But I felt Him telling me that there was more to this than simply encouragement.

In the story of Peter's imprisonment, he is taken shortly after his friend, James, is murdered. He's thrown into a jail cell with 16 soldiers commanded to keep track of him. His public execution is 'on the books.' To say that things looked dire is to make a gross understatement. And yet, according to the Bible, "all the time Peter was under heavy guard in the jailhouse, the church prayed for him most strenuously" (12:5). The very night before his death was to take place, the Word says Peter "slept like a baby" (12:5) despite the fact that he was shackled to two guards. Shackled to them! Guards stood at the doors to the cell, too. "Herod was taking no chances!" (12:6b). I can't begin to do the rest of the story justice in my own words, so here is the translation found in the Message:

"Suddenly there was an angel at his side and light flooding the room. The angel shook Peter and got him up. 'Hurry!' The handcuffs fell off his wrists. The angel said, 'Get dressed. Put on your shoes.' Peter did it. Then, 'Grab your coat and let's get out of here.' Peter followed him, but didn't believe it was really an angel - he thought he was dreaming.

Past the first guard, and then the second, they came to the iron gate that led into the city. It swung open before them on its own, and they were out on the street, free as the breeze. At the first intersection, the angel left him, going his own way. That's when Peter realized it was no dream. 'I can't believe it - this really happened! The Master sent His angel and rescued me from Herod...' (12:7-11)."

Shortly thereafter, Peter goes to see some of the people who are gathered together praying for him. They are in such shock that they don't even believe it's possible; they tell the servant girl who hears his voice on the other side of the door that she's crazy, that she must be speaking with his angel. When they finally concede and open up, to find him standing there, in full physical form, they "{go] wild!" (12:16). That night was likely to be one of the most incredible that many of those believers would ever experience. The Word says that at daybreak, "the jail was in an uproar.... Herod sent for [Peter] and they could neither produce him nor explain why not" (12:18-19a).

I would normally avoid using so much Scripture. But I wanted to give you the full impact of this story because so much of it landed on my heart this morning as a specific reminder of many, many things. First of all, Peter's being prayed for the church "strenuously." I believe that, if I had the eyes to see, the amount of believers on their knees for Conor, Sellers, Copeland and I would floor me, literally throw me to the ground. I believe your prayers are sincere, heart-wrenching, gut-level gasps for the Father to do what He intends... but to protect us, to glorify Himself, and to give us strength to get through whatever He has in store. These were the prayers of the saints while Peter stood in chains, I'm sure. But some of you are praying the prayers that Conor and I haven't prayed as consistently. Some of you are praying that, despite the 99.9% accuracy rate of the tests performed, Copeland will be born healthy - that the Lord will literally break the chains of the medical evidence and lead us, "free as the breeze," into a life with her that is full and complete. Do I know for certain that the Lord intends to do this? No. I don't believe the saints praying for Peter that night had any certainty, either. Why else would they have remained convinced, until seeing him face-to-face, that his chances of survival were slim to none? And yet God worked a mighty, inexplicable, irrational, mathematically and scientifically impossible miracle for no other reason than to bring Himself glory. The fact that Peter slept as soundly as he did the night before his death tells me that the Lord had already given him a peace to accept the grim situation he was in. There was no agonizing over possible escape plans or how the Lord might intercede. Everything was left entirely up to Him. And I am sure that, had Peter been asked to give his life then, at the orders of King Herod, he would have done so as unflinchingly as he did when it was truly his time.

I pray that Conor and I can be like Peter. It's a stretch, I know, and an incredible set of shoes to fill, but I believe the Lord is preparing us to see His glory revealed in an amazing way. I pray that, even on the night before Copeland's birth, and the nights that perhaps follow in her life, if He chooses to give those to us, we will have restful sleep, with a peace that God's got this... no matter the outcome.

I pray that you can continue to lift us up, to pray as the saints did, "strenuously." I know that the Lord can and still may choose to perform a miracle that is beyond any of our current abilities to fully believe. I would ask that you pray He would, in fact, choose to do that. Pray because if anyone's faith is weak, too weak to "deserve" any outrageous power on her behalf, it's me. And yet I know there is no "deserving" in grace.

Conor and I walk into next week embracing the facts the Lord has given us. There are plenty of soldiers and quite a few iron gates in between our family and any kind of victory. And yet I also walk knowing that with your prayers and with a God who delights in working things out for his own purposes, there is much we will be discussing years from now about this week, in awe and wonder at His might and power, tenderness and love.

Pray for our steadfastness, that we will sleep like babies until then...